Contemplating One's Self

I recall being in an impromptu meeting on a typically long, work-filled Sunday some years ago, and being served with a generous helping of humble pie.  There were many meetings in my life at the time.  Who goes where, when, how, and to what extent - was discussed at great length, much to my chagrin.  Just make a unilateral decision, for crying out loud, and save everyone the trouble of splitting hairs over the deets.  Anyhoot, I try to relieve tension with laughter and I tend to make sarcastic remarks in an effort to extract laughter from a strained situation, much like water from a rock.  I realize it's a losing battle, but I'm compelled to do so anyway.

This meeting was one such instance.  The item being discussed was not something that should have been up for discussion, therefore the meeting participants were irate and combative.  In what I thought would be a tension-relieving moment, I made a remark that ended up changing my entire view of myself.  It was something to the extent of pointing out the heat we will have been made to endure whilst participating in the event being discussed.  The meeting coordinator, stretched to the breaking point and against his typical attitude toward me, snapped at me and told me I complain too much.

Initially, I was embarrassed that he was "mean" to me in front of the others.  Anger then set in for being flagrantly misunderstood.  Then, I reached a stage of epiphany.  Maybe he was right.  What??  I complain too much??  What in heaven's name?  Well, come to find out,  I started to take several steps back from myself and realize he was on to something.  Wow.  What a revelatory time of self-discovery and introspection.

Unfortunately, there are many people who are not lucky enough to have anyone be honest with them in their lives.  They go on through life, blindly offensive and brash, while feeling victimized and self-pitying.  I often wonder why people are quite remiss to take an honest look in the mirror.  It's tough.  I know this.  I've done it, and continue to do it to try to be the best friend, mom, citizen, etc. that I can be.

Many humans, being human and fallible by nature, don't care to know the truth about themselves.  I have tried, in my "career" as friend to all, to be forthright and honest with individuals I feel there is hope for.  Not that it's my place to judge who is and isn't beyond hope, but I don't like to impose my will on others, no matter how right I am.  *big wink*  ha! (One of my many shortcomings being my opinionated nature, hence the blog, people!!) Sadly, many persons choose to remain oblivious to their brash nature, trampling poor souls along their way, and leaving a path of virtual destruction behind them.  They eat the downtrodden for lunch and spit them out.  It's a terrible thing to behold and one can't help but feel pity and shame on their behalf.


In the relationships in my own life, I want to proceed with eyes wide open, taking extra care to consider the opposite POV.  What benefit is there to being obstinate and inflexible with others?  I venture to say there is no benefit derived and, in fact, may find one quite friendless and relationshipless indeed.  Disagreements and misunderstandings are excellent opportunities to gain new perspective on how you are perceived by the people you love in your life.  While it may hurt, don't immediately disregard a harsh word spoken and chalk it up to heat of the moment.  There's something to it.  Promise.

Keep in mind, in every bit of criticism, there is some truth there to be found.  Consider it.  Take the meat and throw away the bones.  Look at yourself, then turn your eyes to Jesus.  That's all any of us can do.