Blessings, Disguised as Inconvenience

I'm a bad parent.  Now, before you go all sympathetic on me, hear me out, because I'm not seeking any unwarranted back-pats or compliments, rather just stating a self-aware fact.  I've done things as a parent I'm not proud of.  I haven't always put my kids first.  Usually, it's unintentional, but aren't "unintentions" truly intended on some subconscious level?  I'm also a bad dieter.  Terrible, in fact, to the point that I had my stomach re-assembled so I could lose weight.  Does that mean that I now give up?  On either count?  No.  I sit here, typing my little heart out, all the while desperately trying to ignore the soft loaf of wheat bread crying out to me from the counter to be toasted and slathered in butter.  I will continue to attempt to ignore the siren call of its wheaty goodness, but sometimes I lose.  The same is true in my parenting.  I don't win every battle of setting myself aside for the good of my kids.  Oh, yes, I'll justify my actions with the "me time" conundrum or the "rebellion calls for punishment" verdict.  All the while, my humanity tells me I'm being inconvenienced, so I ignore common sense, ethics, and good morals because it isn't convenient.  I don't always do what's best for me, though, and I think that at least my son, who is able to speak for himself at this stage in his young manhood, would testify to that.  I often witness parents who are obviously inconvenienced, and find myself in their same predicament.  For example, Disneyland is a happy place, right?  Well, if you're able to ignore everyone else's humanity, it is.  Otherwise, you can witness inconvenienced parents and unhappy children by the thousands, join their miserable number, and leave unhappy and very unfulfilled.  Some of my happiest Disneyland moments were when I did what my son wanted to do, often to the detriment of my equilibrium, but they were happy times, resulting in the fondest of memories.  I'm cutting my thought short because I'm getting long-winded in my old age, but to summarize, what can we do today for our kids that may seem inconvenient now, but reap huge rewards later?  (They are forever keeping score, because they're KIDS!)  I've cut out my own work for me.  Have a great day!

The Art of Self-Preservation and How Little Talent it Requires

Friendships trounced.  Family ties undone.  Devastation wrought.  Merriam-Webster defines self-preservation as such: preservation of oneself from destruction or harm OR a natural or instinctive tendency to act so as to preserve one's own existence.  I was thinking about self-preservation and its implications in my life as well as the lives of every other person on this giant, blue orb today and had so many questions and thoughts.  It is true, we are all of us born straightaway with the instinct to "preserve...[our]...own existence", however, as Newton said, there will be an "equal and opposite reaction".  In most instances, somebody will most certainly get hurt, least of all the preservasionist him/herself.  Throughout history, there are numerous examples of self-preservationists that are infamous on the grandest scale.  What about all of us seemingly insignificant self-preservationists?  Are our actions, though not likely to be recalled in historicity, still proving to be selfish on the grandest scale to those reaping the consequences?  At an early age, we begin to learn the ways of self-preservation via lying, cheating, and stealing - just to name a couple of the top offenders.  These things will, as children, save us from getting punished by a parent, or perhaps manifest in ill-gotten gains.  The consequence upon discovery of our transgression would be, in most instances, equal to the crime and delivered solely to the incriminated.  As adults, the implications of committing any of those "crimes" against your friends or family, (whether inadvertently or not), in an effort to self-preserve, are substantially larger and infinitely more devastating.  How can any relationship survive in the face of said selfish and childish behavior?    And what would have been preserved?  Pride?  Dignity?  Good conscience?  Without prejudice, time and truth prevail, and all of those things are invariably stripped away, leaving you.  Alone.  If you are a proponent and lover of truth and seeker of wisdom, you will not distress.  I'm so overcome with conviction at these thoughts swimming in my small mind, so I put them out there to share.  If I've overwhelmed you, please check back another time for more light-hearted chatter on Disneyland or my babies.  Today, I weep.

Judge Not...

Have you ever heard something about someone that changed your perception of that person?  Have you ever spoken something you knew was a conflagration of the truth?  How about repeating something that would be a blend of all things harmful, hurtful, and ugly, just because you're privy to a version of the truth?  Perhaps inserting yourself into an affair that reached a "DRAMA"tic apex?  I try to refrain from this sort of fray, because I believe my time is better spent focusing on my family, doing good, and working on my [many] shortcomings.  That's not to say I haven't been party, whether inadvertently or not, to some such situations.  I often find that gossip or hurtful things have been spoken to me before I'm even able to stop the words coming out of the destructive mouth.  Sometimes I have been curious to know the pain or "drama" (I HATE that word...), others have been enduring.  My curiosity was ill-advised at the time and regrettable still by me.  I'd rather not know.  Not knowing that you're who you are makes me like you (just a little bit) more.  I look at most people with fear, knowing very few have enough honor to try to remain above the sloth of humanity or the willpower to fight their fleshly, selfish desires.  In reading the 22nd chapter of Proverbs this morning, in addition to Isaiah 54 (thankfully recommended by my sister, a wise and good disciple), I realized this -  We are all dirt.  None better than the next, just less talked about because nobody cares about tearing some down because there's nothing to envy or be jealous about.  We all have our pettiness and trivialities that cause us moments of foolishness, HOWEVER that doesn't have to be our entire character.  You choose what comes out of your mouth, and by so doing, choosing how you are perceived, how well you are liked, and how many honest-to-goodness friends you really have.  I feel sheepish even posting this, because I'm nobody.  I'll be the first to tell you, I'm nothing.  No good.  Completely and utterly devoid and incapable of righteousness on my own.  Still, let me give you one more, all-important passage of scripture.  In Matthew, chapter 7, the Bible says, "²For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. ³And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? ⁴Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?"  I am just getting some things off my chest.  If I've offended you, maybe some introspection is in fine order.  I know that's what I'm doing.  I'm going to change the world, but I'll start with me and let God handle the rest.

Music, How I Love Thee!

Watching the Grammys as I type to all 7 of my avid, voracious readers, and soaking it in as if it's all for me. Music is such an amazing thing.  Take the piano, which I happen to know a little about, and let's examine its many applications tonight.  Stage for a be-cat-suited Gwyneth Paltrow, accompaniment to Rihanna (played by none other than my man, Adam Levine), re-imagined as a pipe organ head garden by Gaga, and skillfully performed upon by THE Bruno Mars - the piano can be summed up in one word - versatile.  No, that's not it.  Ummm...  Thesaurus.... thesaurus.... ridonkulous.  Oh, that's not a word?  Well, anyway, it's so awesome how a piano or any number of interesting instruments (I once saw a missionary preaching for my dad play a SAW), can form a cohesive sound that becomes a composition, that becomes art.  I love it all.  Especially impressed with Eminem tonight and Katy Perry's sorta on-key performance, which hasn't been a norm for her from what I've seen.  I'm never disappointed in Gaga's extensive costuming/staging/gimmickry.  Mick Jagger just did a set and I'm sure we'll be going out with a bang, but no matter what it is, I'll love it...and envy people who can make a decent, if not lucrative living creating "it".  Music.  Love it.

BTW - if Barbra Streisand could just kick it up a notch, I'd be grateful.  Potty break!