Life is Beautiful

A Poem, I Think

2011-11-23T13:25:00.000-08:00

I recently had a request to update my blog and I've been thinking in rhythmic patterns lately, so here goes nothing. I truly am someone who feels it is better to give than to receive and the world at large has lost sight of this all-important virtue. Christmas is upon us, so don't forget there is always somebody who has it worse than you do, who could use your help, a smile, love, a hug, encouragement, or whatever! Don't go through life missing out on opportunities to be good to people. Yeah, that's kinda what the poem is about, even though it seems a bit all over the place. =)

A Poem, I Think

I made a fist and shook it high,
As I contemplated why…

Hating how the road of life

Had robbed me, oh, so blind…

Of joy and laughter

Smiles and warmth –

As I floundered in despair,

I wondered where old self had gone,

I couldn’t find her anywhere.

I looked inside a bottle,

Then life somehow made sense,

The numbness that would sure wear off,

Brought wrath much more intense.

I looked to trusted loved ones,

But I found myself alone,

Vows of loyalty all forgotten,

Smiling, friendly encouragement – gone.

I tried to purchase my way through…

Mask pain by material gain,

Frivolous moments of weakness…

I now regarded with disdain.

My heart knew just what it needed,

But felt so saddened when…

My expressions of love for His grace,

Were met with condescending grin.

Who can know the heart of man?

Is how the Good Book reads,

Mine now filled with gratitude,

Another day for committing good deeds…

Bestowing love on people,

Is all that I have known,

I’ve only found myself true peace,

Somewhat reaping what was sown…

My heart still yearns for serving,

And that’s what’s been realized,

If there is no purpose to live and serve,

Then I’d really rather die.

I found myself with my family,

They’re all the world to me,

Trying to exemplify,

Better give, than to receive.

I find myself on down the line,

Giving, loving without guise,

The reward gained for my efforts?

Living had become a prize.

If you're lost, you can find yourself giving,

Guaranteed won't be in vain,

For what does a man's soul profit?

If the whole world is his gain?

Thank you for reading!

Envy, Covet, and Jealousy - Oh, my!

2011-08-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to stay focused on a bigger payoff than blogging, but I had to make an observation that has nagged at me for some time now. What is it with people who want the things that you don't even have? Like, the things you tell them you would like to have or dream of owning some day - those are the things they will suddenly possess and/or seek diligently to acquire. Am I a bad person that it bugs me? I have never been the type of person to be upset if somebody owned the same clothing item as me or even purposely bought something because I had it, but this caliber of possessiveness that I feel towards my desirables deserves its own name. Alas, a name escapes me at the mo'. I reckon the possessiveness I feel is akin to the same one feels when they share a prospective name for a future/possible child. All of a sudden, because they said the name out loud, it's theirs and theirs alone. That is how I feel about the things I dream of with those I trust. Especially when those I confide my hopes and dreams in suddenly turn up with my hopes on their arms and my dreams on their feets. (yes, I realize "feets" isn't a word. Cut me some slack while I vent!) Get your own hopes and dreams!! haha! It's like when you're in high school and you tell your very best girlfriend that you're in LOVE with the awkward, so-so-looking nerd in the corner. Before then, she'd never noticed said nerd, but next thing you know they're "going around" and couldn't be happier. How can any, self-respecting "friend" be so inconsiderate?? It boggles one's mind, namely my mind. Maybe I'm petty, jealous, envious, and covetous. Perhaps maybe I'm full of self-loathing and critiquing my own shortcomings on the world wide web. Maybe not.

Will Write for Food...

2011-07-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I wanted all of you lovely cyberific readers to know that I haven't forgotten you or this blog. As a matter of fact, I have been working on a book that I hope to self-publish very soon. The names of the innocent will be changed for their protection, but look out! It's turning out to be very forthcoming and brutally honest and it's main subject is that of unrequited love. I think it should be required reading for all persons seeking its oft-rewarding yet fickle titillation, but that's just my lofty and deluded opinion. =)

Meanwhile, I will try to post concise tidbits with which you may satiate your need to read me, but by and large I will be feverishly working on what is sure to be a masterpiece. (A girl can dream, can't she?) TTFN

Donkey Rock or BURST!

2011-06-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

As summer is set upon us, I can't help but reminisce of lovely summer memories from years past. For nearly two decades, Youth Camp was the highlight of my summer. From an early age, it didn't matter where I was going or with whom, I always had a good time. Youth Camp was the pinnacle of fun in my life at that time. So many possibilities for adventure and memory-building. I'm sheepish to admit that I had the presence of mind then to take extra care to savor the goodness. I tried to memorize every rock on the path to the girls' bathroom. I knew exactly where to stand in line for church so I could sit on a certain bench, in view of certain other campers. ;) I enjoyed a Kit Kat and suicide soda after every service, or sometimes a Mars bar, or a Rocky Road. There was a giant bonfire most nights after we'd cried our last tear in the altar and many kids used it as an opportunity to practice dating. Getting "taken to the bonfire" was a big deal. I had beautiful friends of which had a different suitor every night. I was usually the third wheel or hanging out with the other unlucky gals. I'm pretty sure I was never asked to the bonfire by anyone, though I did have a stand-in "date" a couple of years by way of the current boyfriend. So, that's not a big deal, just life! ha! It didn't stop me from having fun, like, ever. One year, there was a flash flood and my cabin was filled with mud to our knees. We were nicknamed the Mud Hut that year. We had our tent flaps up (bottom half was wood, top half army-like tent), and we were watching the hail and pouring rain. Suddenly, what appeared to be mostly water began rushing toward our dwelling. I jumped off the bunk where I was and my animal instinct kicked in! I was grabbing belongings and throwing them up on the top bunks as quickly as possible, and my co-campers were doing the same. It was awesome. It was a mess, but it was awesome. The list of memories such as this goes on and on and are funny, intriguing, and endearing. One of my favorite parts of Youth Camp was waking up each morning. Elder Morton would get on the PA and start singing in that lovely, funny voice of his. A couple of my friends and I still sing each other those songs from time to time and you're not doing it right if you're not off-key! I miss the days when all I had to worry about over the summer was what I was going to wear to Youth Camp and if I would be asked out to the bonfire. Good times! Summer time is here again and my spirit is up in that remote wooded area, high above the scorching heat of the valley. Smelling the pine and the freshwater stream, feeling the occasional breeze drifting by, bringing with it the smell of tater tots and hot dogs. I wish my son liked it as much as I did, because I would love to have an excuse just to drive up there again. Great memories will never be forgotten!!!

Contemplating One's Self

2011-06-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

I recall being in an impromptu meeting on a typically long, work-filled Sunday some years ago, and being served with a generous helping of humble pie. There were many meetings in my life at the time. Who goes where, when, how, and to what extent - was discussed at great length, much to my chagrin. Just make a unilateral decision, for crying out loud, and save everyone the trouble of splitting hairs over the deets. Anyhoot, I try to relieve tension with laughter and I tend to make sarcastic remarks in an effort to extract laughter from a strained situation, much like water from a rock. I realize it's a losing battle, but I'm compelled to do so anyway.

This meeting was one such instance. The item being discussed was not something that should have been up for discussion, therefore the meeting participants were irate and combative. In what I thought would be a tension-relieving moment, I made a remark that ended up changing my entire view of myself. It was something to the extent of pointing out the heat we will have been made to endure whilst participating in the event being discussed. The meeting coordinator, stretched to the breaking point and against his typical attitude toward me, snapped at me and told me I complain too much.

Initially, I was embarrassed that he was "mean" to me in front of the others. Anger then set in for being flagrantly misunderstood. Then, I reached a stage of epiphany. Maybe he was right. What?? I complain too much?? What in heaven's name? Well, come to find out, I started to take several steps back from myself and realize he was on to something. Wow. What a revelatory time of self-discovery and introspection.

Unfortunately, there are many people who are not lucky enough to have anyone be honest with them in their lives. They go on through life, blindly offensive and brash, while feeling victimized and self-pitying. I often wonder why people are quite remiss to take an honest look in the mirror. It's tough. I know this. I've done it, and continue to do it to try to be the best friend, mom, citizen, etc. that I can be.

Many humans, being human and fallible by nature, don't care to know the truth about themselves. I have tried, in my "career" as friend to all, to be forthright and honest with individuals I feel there is hope for. Not that it's my place to judge who is and isn't beyond hope, but I don't like to impose my will on others, no matter how right I am. *big wink* ha! (One of my many shortcomings being my opinionated nature, hence the blog, people!!) Sadly, many persons choose to remain oblivious to their brash nature, trampling poor souls along their way, and leaving a path of virtual destruction behind them. They eat the downtrodden for lunch and spit them out. It's a terrible thing to behold and one can't help but feel pity and shame on their behalf.

In the relationships in my own life, I want to proceed with eyes wide open, taking extra care to consider the opposite POV. What benefit is there to being obstinate and inflexible with others? I venture to say there is no benefit derived and, in fact, may find one quite friendless and relationshipless indeed. Disagreements and misunderstandings are excellent opportunities to gain new perspective on how you are perceived by the people you love in your life. While it may hurt, don't immediately disregard a harsh word spoken and chalk it up to heat of the moment. There's something to it. Promise.

Keep in mind, in every bit of criticism, there is some truth there to be found. Consider it. Take the meat and throw away the bones. Look at yourself, then turn your eyes to Jesus. That's all any of us can do.

Got a Light?

2011-06-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

I find myself precariously perched between blatant disregard for church and religion and the burning desire in my heart to please the Supreme Being, greater than myself or anyone else. There was a time when it wasn't a question at all. I loved Jesus and I was going to do whatever, whenever, and however it needed to be done in order to get to see His face at the end of this journey we call "Life". Unfortunately, a lot of LIFE has happened in the process and I find myself confused, alone, and HOPEless. (There was a funny uttered today to me that is neither fitting for this post, nor befitting my character to recount in a public setting, but it was funny in regards to HOPE. Trust me and laugh.)

When you think there's no more rug left to be ripped from under you, you tempt the powers that be to demonstrate your fallible nature and misgivings. I've often had the thought, "This is it. This is rock bottom." I'm now scared to utter such thoughts or let them cross my mind, whether in a fit of depression and self-loathing or just a plain, ol' pity party, I cannot allow the thought in. Even though it could really be the case this time. Maybe, just maybe, there's no where to go but up, as "they" say. (Whoever "they" are, I have not a clue, but I used to get reprimanded for questioning the existence and validity of "they", so I just go with it now.)

What happens when, like plunging into the depths of the deepest ocean, you can't see up due to the lack of illumination? I've heard, and am hesitant to express my fear that when you go deep enough into the ocean, you have no clue which way is up and deep sea divers have to learn certain skills to keep them from drowning in such scenarios. Personally, I'm not a great swimmer, so going deep sea diving terrifies me, as does the fact that one cannot tell where the surface is due to the sun's inability to penetrate those depths.

As humanity plunges ever deeper into the sea of despair, what light is there to guide them back to the surface, to the air that awaits their screaming lungs? I have seen many such self-proclaimed, alleged "lights" - in the market, at the restaurant, in the bank - and there was no light emanating from them. I'm ashamed to say I used to be the same. Few and far between are the "saved" souls that seek to share their love for the truth with others. They have no clue who I am and when I stare in bewildered awe of their rude, brash aura, they glare at me or turn their noses up in the air.

I don't want to be a part of that number, however, today I was able to witness some heartfelt, inspired, sincere Christianity imparted to me. Wow. I wasn't at all expecting that level of concern for my soul, having been mostly "written off" by those who used to say (operative word "say"), they cared for my soul and salvation. A light. A light even I could see from the low I have presently sunk to. I'm intrigued and compelled to give religiosity another look, in moderation, as the Bible says all things should be done.

Sing it with me..."If you've tried everything and everything has failed...TRY...?"

Scorekeepers: How to Win at Friendship wink

2011-06-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

Well, before I get into this post, let me say this - I love my friends. I have learned to surround myself with positive, selfless people who are a joy to be around. My honest-to-goodness friendships are not the motivation for this post.

That being said, I will now write on how I perceive some others in society that I may or may not have closely dealt with. In all levels of relationship, whether it be acquaintance, family, leader, minister, friend, lover, etc. - there are people who fit the bill of scorekeeper. You know the type. Their actions are wholly dependent upon the actions of others. Don't mistake these people for followers. No. The people of which I speak keep a tally, of sorts, of their hurts, compliments, triumphs, and other fringe benefits of relationships of all levels and types in their lives. Truly, it must be an exhausting effort on their part, but I've witnessed this behavior over and over.

There are so many things in life that are "score-worthy", including a meal a gratis, an ill-spoken word, presence at an event, etc. Certainly you get the idea. Maybe you have even uttered the words, "Well, they didn't come to my (_________), so I don't feel bad". These people seek justification for every, single action of theirs, and often their insubordinate children, by citing a higher or similar offense by someone in their same position. (i.e. another friend, sibling, minister, husband, yada-yada-yada...) They're always watching. Always judging. Always, always, ALWAYS keeping score. If you give them a card on their birthday, expect nothing more than the same - (not that you should expect anything, which is another post for another day...). If you happen to let slip you think their misbehaved child is such, expect retribution in kind.

What's really distressing is these people, having this type of "condition" have placed themselves in the unfortunate position which requires them to "buy" their relationships. Their family is stuck with them, in a lot of ways, so they continue to be family, unless it's an ex-in-law situation. An unsuspecting, potential relationship will begin and unbeknownst to one side, the other side is keeping track of all wrongdoings, alleged generosities, etc. and will be recalled at a later date. It's a sad state to be in.

Have you ever been in the position of suddenly finding out you are indebted to someone for something you didn't know they were keeping track of? Relationships should be equally selfless, generous, loving, and without tallies. When you keep track of things, anywhere from house visits to birthday gifts to phone calls, it can be tiring and take your focus off of the joy of having the chance to build the relationship in the first place.

Score keeping is symptomatic of a relationship destined for failure, because inevitably, the scorekeeper will find they have "won" a contest only they were playing at and deem their unsuspecting "opponent" a loser.

In the "game" of life, I believe one of my favorite mantras applies very well and that is - "Quitters never win and winners never quit." That being said, winners are too busy winning to keep score. Just saying...

Who Cares Who's On First? =)

2011-06-06T08:34:00.000-07:00

So, I guess there's some sort of basketball thing going on right now that people care about. I used to care about basketball. The Lakers, in fact - but they blew a playoff game and I cried with Fish and got over it. Completely over it. No more crazy Laker fan or whatever the heck it is that possesses citizens who appear to be normal and transforms them into opposing-team-fan-beating, beer throwing, foaming-at-the-mouth, shirt-ripping, face-painting fanatics. I was SO in love with the Lakers, namely Derek Fisher, and I loved to watch all the games. So much so, that I actually sneaked around to watch the games, though it was pretty much allowed at my local parish at the time. (Games on TV, okay. Anything else on TV, not okay. Whatever. Not going there today.) So, there's this Final series of some sorts that has a few people worked up. What I know about it is the Heat is in it and Lakers fans couldn't be more put out over it. Really? People really let these things ruin their days? Starving children, disease, genocide, natural disasters, and the like plague our planet and people really have time to not only watch these spectacles but to waste inordinate amounts of time fretting over them? You know, I may not agree with everything I was taught as a child, but I definitely see the upside to ignoring the sporting world as a whole. Honestly, my days are unaffected by sports, and the only time I get a little bit into them is during the Olympics, when I'm just a plain, ol', proud American. There are so many joys to marvel at and real sorrows over which to weep, therefore I choose not to let the sporting "gods" dictate to me at any level what my life experience may be. If you're in such dire need of a distraction, visit your local soup kitchen and donate some time. Sorry, I can't sympathize with the sports-lovers of the world. Common sense disallows me from doing such. Play ball! haha..

Have you seen my anger?

2011-06-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

Some days I feel, if I were a cartoon, there would be a perpetual, frowny rain cloud hovering over my cerebral cortex. It would have random lightning bolts projected from it, striking the unsuspecting and innocent passersby. Unbeknownst to said passersby, I have had one terrible year or two or three. The angst and frustration have built at an exponential rate, that is for certain. I don't mean to be mean. I don't derive much satisfaction from driving offensively or confronting a "line cutter" in the market, etc. I'm just an angry individual.

When I'm angry of late and in a fit of rage, it's almost as if I'm not me at all. I observe the unleashed beast I become in bewilderment. As a person, I am brash, outspoken, and often mistaken as being upset, but I cannot be accused of being ugly for ugly's sake. Until now, unfortunately. I have tried, as an admirer of wisdom and one who hopes to attain some of my own, to ignore my frustrations with myself and my life in an effort to exercise discipline on my emotions. Emotions. Those are tricky things. I have felt things in the last month that I have not experienced to date in my entire existence and I must say, I abhor the actions brought on by these emotions. The proverbial "can of worms" has not just been opened, but opened and dumped on my head. I was full of self-loathing before, but now there are no words to describe the things I feel in response to my untamed, untapped anger.

What worries me about my new-found, untapped anger is the management thereof. I have not ever had anger of this magnitude to contend with before, so I've been caught unawares on multiple occasions of late. As the rage seems to consume me, piece by piece, I see myself doing things I would never have considered before. On these occasions, I have enough presence of mind to realize that my behavior is that of people I have no respect for. I lash out at the people I love and say things I don't mean. I have even thrown my phone. Twice. Maybe this seems like no big deal, but if you know me at all, you know that's extremely contrary to my typical countenance. Even when I have been very upset in the past, I do not inadvertently or purposely ruin my things.

Typically I have the uncanny and unsettling ability to remain calm in the face of a stormy situation. I often think I missed my calling in life to be a counselor of sorts, since I can maintain a certain level of seemingly near disinterest in the situation at hand, no matter how scandalous and to the point of projecting my own peace on the distressed party.

I am quite discontent in the dawning realization that I now have anger with which to contend and no place to compartmentalize it. My mind and heart are too full with all of the other cares of life and now anger is seeking a footing to take hold. I don't want to allow it to take hold. I've had a glimpse of that angry person and I don't care too much for her. I have to deal with it and soon, but where to place it? In myself? Project it onto others? Blame those I feel are responsible for my anger? Ideally, I'd like to see this angry person transformed and reinstated to my former, sometimes impatient, but largely controlled self. Let's just say I need to handle it sooner than later. Meanwhile, just lay off me, huh? *sigh* (See? Projecting again... urrrgghhh!!)

Toll Roads - What Gives?

2011-05-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

I have become increasingly alarmed at the ever-growing number and changing dynamic of the persons ensconced roadside, panhandling. Back in "the day", whenever "that" was, beggars used to be generally perceived as junkies, homeless, drunks, and other rejects of society. Not any more. One sign roadside recently read "White Man Needs Job". The person holding the sign was a white woman. She had a Yorkie with her, which I can't afford, and a young child. So, where's this "man"?? And why was it necessary to specify the color of his skin? (Does anybody care about skin color in 2011?) Two of the cars in front of me and one behind offered this woman money. Wow. So, forget credentials, instead all you need is some cardboard and a Sharpie and you can make more money than a lot of people suffering through this awful economy. Upon my exodus of the Walmart vehicular receptacle, I spotted another WOMAN (where is our pride, ladies????), with a sign. It read, "Out of Work - Hungry", but she looked so normal and a bit overweight, I might add!!! (I realize I have little room to speak, but come on, people! Give me something I can sympathize...) I know "out of work" is the new normal in Obamaland, but join the crowd, lady! I barely afforded my bread and baby food acquired that day and she wants me to just hand her money? The person in front of me this on particular instance was smart and handed her a bag of McDonald's. That I can do. Dad brought us up to be compassionate and generous, so I'm always down to feed a truly hungry person or give them a coat or whatever their need may be. The really crazy thing is, during Christmas, when generosity is seemingly thrust upon us, I have tried to give blankets and coats to homeless people. They're skeptical, if not downright rude, just bluntly asking for money instead and rejecting my kindness. In the words of my man Cee Lo, "FORGET you!" I want to be a giver, but do NOT take advantage of my good graces and my guilt for being able to afford my LOAF OF BREAD.

So, if you're not on board with giving away your children's allowances to the new "suffering and needy" of the city in which you reside, here's my stellar advice: Take that money and buy the darkest sunglasses you can, that way when they're staring at you, they can't tell if you're staring back at them or not. By all means, stare, though. If we are going to be discourteously requesting monies of hard working, upstanding members of society, then we are not ashamed to be gawked at relentlessly. Well, it's probably not what Jesus would do, but I do not profess to be His mouthpiece. For the Lord's take on the subject, go here.

The weather is nice today, so beware of toll roads!

Failure is Not an Option

2011-05-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

Try: to subject to something that tests the powers of endurance

I've been wondering, of late, what in my life defines "trying". I have "tried" to do many things. Some have failed spectacularly, others have been an embarrassing debacle, and others still have been, in my own mind's eye, a success.

There are many things I "try" to do on a regular basis, for instance, losing weight. I am, for myself, at an unsatisfactory mass level, of which I wish to bring down to a more acceptable level by "trying" to eat right. I am, currently, "trying" and succeeding at a steady, albeit seemingly glacial pace, to write a book. Whenever I endeavor to knock a bit of it [the book] off, I seem to encounter endless obstacles, yet my mind flourishes with imaginative, compelling ideas when my computer is a world away and my hands may as well be tied behind my back.

Whilst pontificating upon the effort I put into life in general and what exactly I have to show for said effort, I have become increasingly dismayed. Having said that, let me say this - I consider my children to be my greatest successes in life, while not having to "try" too hard for them. *cough* *cough* They came about, both of them, as pleasant, beautiful surprises of sorts, and have both brought me so much joy.

Outside of the fact that I have been blessed with them, I do not feel particularly fulfilled. Something is missing. Or someone. I do not know at this juncture exactly which or what or why. I do know my lovely friend, Cam, tells me nearly every day to just get after it, whatever "it" may be.

Today, the laundry list of items I hope to "try" is growing more bloated by the minute. I will be moved into a new residence by week's end, enrolled in school, and hopefully another five pounds lighter. My life is about to change drastically because of that word "try", so I'm going to "try" to make the very best of it. What are you "trying" (or not "trying") today?

The Quality or State of Being Friendly

2011-03-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Well, "friends", I've been thinking quite a lot on friends, friendship, and friendliness, and I've come to this conclusion: there are very few, if any, friends left to be had who have any kindly interest or goodwill on a consistent, faithful basis. It's extremely saddening, to say the least. Even I have not been a good friend, and perhaps am now reaping what I, myself, have sown. I've heard it said many times and even have said it myself that, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" Some would take the passage of Proverbs 27:5-7 out of context to justify their actions. Others offer no explanation for their injurious actions (or lack thereof), and wish to still "remain friends". Honestly, I'd rather have no friends than not know if I can trust and rely on the ones I "have" to be friendly at all times. Am I so "starved", as the 7th verse states, that I'll take on any "bitter", self-serving, mean-spirited person as a friend? I've allowed myself to be "guilted" into being nice and come out of those situations feeling empty and unfulfilled. I often take comfort in the song "No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus", as I try my darnedest to not pity my woeful state of being. Merriam-Webster defines a friend as "one that is not hostile", and hostile is defined as "of or relating to the opposing party". Aristotle said, "A friend to all is a friend to none." So, you may have to make a choice. I have made a choice. I will still do my very best to be nice to all, even downright accommodating to others, but I fully trust very few. (The actual number would be shocking to my "friends".) It's a lonely place to be, having removed the rose-colored glasses and now viewing the entirety of the human race through jaded eyes. I miss my innocence and abhor those I allowed to rip it from me, piece by piece. Friendship isn't always convenient and being friendly or amicable toward one seemingly undeserving of such can be downright trying, but I don't think it's too much to ask or expect in return. Unfortunately, life forces friendships in or out and if you are one who tries to maintain a hold on all friends, tenuous though the grasp may be, you will be exhausted from the effort. The world of social networking has given many, including myself, a false sense of security, thinking all 290-odd "friends" actually like us. (Or whatever your number may be...) I am aware the vast majority on my list don't define friend, but some are outright enemies. It's time to weed out the ones who hurt me the most, I reckon. Will they retaliate with reckless gossip and malevolent behavior? Most likely. Oh, well, like the rest of the human race, I now will look out for me. Nobody else is going to do it. (I'll have my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek for my next post, and I apologize for the ugliness spewed herein, but venting is good for me.)

Drama Queen Demystified

2011-03-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

In spite of what you may have read here, I earnestly try to avoid "drama". I don't even like using that word in reference to stressful life situations and fear it is abused by our society as a whole. According to the highly reputable site Urban Dictionary (*dripping sarcasm*), "drama" is something girls thrive on. (I paraphrased because the definition is substantially more offensive and you may read it for yourself by clicking my handy-dandy link!) I don't think it's just girls any more, though they do bear the brunt of the blame for creating "dramatic" situations. Men have become substantially more caught up in being "drama queens" as well. Things grow worse at an exponential rate and it's so easily avoided! I think that many, many, MANY people bring said "drama" upon themselves. They will tell you they're victims, but I don't buy it. So, since anything you read on the Internet (thank you, Al Gore!), is true and verified, I am your guru to provide simple steps to avoiding drama. This time it's free, next time it'll cost ya'!

1. Don't use the word "drama" unless you're referring to the latest Clint Eastwood offering.

2. Stay away from people who use the word "drama", unless (see #1). "A perverse person stirs up conflict..."

3. Before you begin to partake of another person's "drama" - stop. Put yourself in that person's shoes. No matter how perfect you THINK you are and that you would NEVER be in their position, you are wrong. By repeating it, you may or may not bring added "drama" to an already "dramatic" situation and bring disfavor upon your own head by GOD. (Most of those things are on a "need to know" basis and YOU don't "need to KNOW"!!)

4. Refrain from using absolutes. (never, always, everybody, etc.) These words make you less believable as a person. Regardless of what or who you are talking about, Justin Bieber was right - "Never say Never"!

5. Be flexible so you don't get out of shape, hence the onset of MORE "drama".

6. Befriend less popular people. I have found many "unpopular" people are shockingly "drama"-free! That may sound harsh, but hear me out! popular=ambitious=competitive=jealous=petty=DRAMA When you peel the layers, you may be very disappointed as to why that person is "popular". Or how, rather.

7. If you find yourself in a disheartened state of mind, keep your list of confidants short, honorable, and trustworthy. When you hear things repeated, at the very least, you'll know who was responsible. Whether you confront them or not is dependent on how much "drama" you would like to deal with.

This list is a work in progress, and I'm sure there are many more things to add. I'm welcome to your comments and suggestions! For now, try to remain drama-free and enjoy life! Life really is beautiful.

Real Deal

2011-03-12T00:06:00.000-08:00

Read an interesting post on a blog I frequent by a revered author recently, and it got me to thinking on the many forms of "sin". The word "sinner" is what the crazies on The View would call a "Hot Topic". Using that word and associating it with another person is akin to being judgmental, and when judgment is reserved for God alone, a fine line to walk. As I have continued to read the heated debate on that particular post in regards to backsliders, modesty, sinning, etc., I have come to this conclusion - a reprobate mind needs some re-examination. In Titus 1:16 it says, "They profess to know God; but in works they deny Him, being abominable, and disobedient and unto every good work reprobate." (the entire passage is very interesting...) The only definition I ever heard growing up in Pentecostal ranks of "reprobate" was basically that the person was cast out by God and given up on, perhaps even deluded in their beliefs. That's not the complete definition. Merriam-Webster says that "reprobate" is [a person] that is morally corrupt. I realize not all Pentecostals fit into this category, but I'm ever surprised at the ignorance and sheer denial many are in. First and foremost, you must be obedient to God and His Word. Next, your pastor. Problem is, much, much, MUCH focus is given to the physical presentation and pleasing the pastor and ministry, when hearts aren't right, yet God's people refuse to see it. They're eager to tear down the unfortunate soul who happens to be found living in sin, yet they don't realize that every time they sit down at the table and overeat, they are sinning as well. Living in a messy, filthy house is a sin. Watching Hulu when the pastor preaches against TV is a sin. Unfortunately, these things are trivialized, justified, and kept hidden from view so as to not ruin the perception of them via their outward holiness. I'm actually the rare sinner that doesn't mind being called by that label, so long as the viewer sees clearly we all do sin and MOST on a regular basis. Just because gluttony, laziness, and excessive debt aren't addressed on a regular basis from the pulpit doesn't mean God forgot that He abhors these things. The surface stuff is easy, but God looks on the HEART.

Every, Single Day - I Miss Him

2011-03-09T23:34:00.000-08:00

Every year, on this day, the reality of the hole left in my heart punches me in the face. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. Perhaps I should have more faith in God, but Dad served God so faithfully and he suffered a slow and painful death. One of our last conversations, Dad told me he still believed he could be healed and it would be so miraculous and a light for all to see. He got his healing, in a different way, but so much less miraculous to those of us who have not seen Heaven. I'm sad tonight. My life is not what I hoped for, nor what Dad would have wanted, but here I am. Weeping over my computer. Disheartened by God's people who put more energy into their dissenting views than winning the lost and winning back people like me. I want to see this place called Heaven. I want to see my Dad. I want to have that last conversation that was robbed from me, as he slipped into a coma his last few days on this Earth. He would know what to say to put my tormented mind at ease. He'd say I need to forgive those I have grown to dislike to the point of sheer hatred. I don't want it said of me that I lost my soul over my offenses. Thank God for my kids. They give me the will to wake each morning. I'm really laying it out there right now and may regret this in the morning, but more than anything I don't want the world to forget my daddy. He never thought of himself as great, and I think I probably took him for granted while he was with me, but he was great. If you didn't know him, you missed out on something special. I'll love you forever, Dad, as long as I am living.

No One Was Searching For Them (Ez. 34:6)

2011-03-05T23:20:00.000-08:00

Had an interesting conversation today with another "lost sheep" and have had a lot rolling around in my mind since then. We experienced very similar circumstances and have trouble understanding the "Christianity" in it. There are so many instances in the Bible, one specifically found in chapter 34 of Ezekiel, where God exhorts the "shepherds" or what we have come to know in the 21st century as the "ministry" in regards to caring for his sheep. (Or the lack thereof, in my particular instance, and that of the other partaker in this exchange.) And how many countless others? When I was in church, I was of the opinion that the "backslider" was wrong no matter what, therefore no feelings of theirs warranted any merit or gravity. I've even heard those who were "lost" and not sought after, that just made up in their mind to come back on their own, make up excuses for the lack of seeking on their minister's part. None of this is called into question ever. It's taboo and if you're even thinking of questioning why, you're immediately considered in the wrong, blacklisted and ostracized by whomever lends a sympathetic ear to the minister seeking to justify their lack of caring. I have found that questioning usually ignites obnoxious, arrogant belligerence amongst "the called" claiming to strive to live as Jesus would, and no answer is ever given. How many hurting souls are sprinting towards eternity, wondering where all the years of love and dedication to their shepherd and the flock got them? Annihilated. Excommunicated. Forgotten. Sentenced to the life of a leper without fair trial, only judgment. The numbers are countless, yet the "redeemed" will say that if those "lost" really love the Lord, it won't matter. I disagree and hope they're never on the other side of the fence to see for themselves. "Thus says the Lord GOD: 'Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require My flock at their hand; I will cause them to cease feeding the sheep, and the shepherds shall feed themselves no more; for I will deliver My flock from their mouths, that they may no longer be food for them.'" Ezekiel 34:10 Those aren't my words, and I highly recommend the entire chapter for reading, so you may see for yourself I'm not taking a grain of sand to build a sand castle.

Title Entitlement

2011-03-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

Growing up, we were taught to employ titles when addressing people of position, adults, teachers, etc. This, I think, was a throwback of sorts to times past when kids were actually taught and expected to respect their elders. There's a fine line that the use of a title walks today because the title bearer is still just human. I do agree that, in some instances, the lack of a title breeds a familiarity that shouldn't be allowed in a more formal setting and "dumbs down" the respect level of the title bearer. However, these "title bearers" [sometimes] hold dear to their titles and I have witnessed, over the years, the downfall of many of them. I'm embarrassed for those in the ranks of "ministry" of many organizations that demand to be addressed in a certain manner, presuming they're deserving of the respect the title entails. Some of them are obnoxious, belligerent sowers of discord and gossipers, yet call them by their name and you're in "the wrong". What a farce. No wonder so many people discount these organizations as cults and their people as hypocrites. Are we not all sinners saved by grace? What about the humility spoken of so often in the Scriptures? Does humility and "title entitlement" go hand in hand? I think not. In fact, "title entitlement" goes hand in hand with pride, which God hates. (BTW, I also think the whole trend of familial title use in non-familial relationships is still "dumbing down" the respect level of these presumptuous believers.) In the end, it's not your title that will save you anyway and, in fact, may be your undoing. Be careful, because that person you just belittled via your title demands could be the person who would help you up after a fall. Just call me Chris.

Preface (writing a book in bits and pieces could take a while...)

2011-02-26T01:38:00.000-08:00

The message came out of nowhere and at first, Dugan was taken aback, for he knew interaction or business of any kind with the witch doctor would be dealt with harshly, perhaps even costing him his very life. However, the witch doctor's initial call was alluring and seductive, and he entertained it for what he thought would be a harmless moment - just long enough to briefly contemplate the proposition. The few unlucky individuals he knew to have had any relationship with the witch doctor had all turned completely mad for want of the goods offered, then withdrawn without notice or explanation at the doctor's discretion. Furthermore, and perhaps most importantly, there would be no cure in the elixir offered up by the doctor, yet Dugan found himself completely devoid of the willpower to fight or question the doctor's motives, for he felt he had tried literally everything else. After the witch doctor made several requests to assist via a messenger, Dugan finally accepted the offer, in hopes of some or any relief. Now, the doctor did not see it fit to come in person, rather sending the goods to Dugan by way of the messenger. Dugan was immediately disappointed at how little relief was potentially offered, after all his weighty deliberation, when the messenger placed the tiny vial of elixir in his ever-weakening hand. His hand, sweaty from anticipation and clammy with fever, nearly lost hold of the vial while trying to unstopper it, and his heart was nearly beating outside of his chest, for he had finally come to the point of which he knew there would be no return to the former self. If he drank the contents of the tiny vial, he knew he would be hooked. He knew it wouldn't, in the long run, do him any good. He knew he could lose everything if the people discovered his dreadful transaction. None of the small amount of logic remaining in him could will him to forsake his contract with the dreadful doctor once the enticing aroma from the vial was unleashed on his senses. Never had he smelled anything so lovely, as he drank in the combined scents of lavender and jasmine, with a hint of cedar wood. He would have to deal with the consequences later, because he now had all but lost total control of what had once been a sound mind and good conscience, stripped bare by his ravaging illness.

Love the Mouse

2011-02-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I have had some heavy posts of late, so I thought I'd lighten things up a bit today! I've got Disneyland on the brain today. We'll be going to Disneyland Saturday and Sunday (in the rain, no less), with some family. It's going to be awesome, with a capital "F". Disneyland Resort is something special in the rain. One particular rainy DL experience comes to mind as I plan for some rain-soaked hilarity... It's been several years back and I went with a group of people from my church. It was RAINING hard! We all promptly bought Mickey slickers because our umbrellas were not adequate protection from the torrential downpour. The crowd was light and festive because you just have to take rain at DL with a grain of salt, or else you'll be frustrated! We wandered around the park, riding everything we passed and stopping in many of the shops. Much to my surprise, the big coaster, California Screamin', was still open and taking "Screamers"! Wow! Couldn't pass up that opportunity and I'm, oh, so glad! We screamed and laughed and were pelted so very hard by the rain as we sped around the track that our faces were numb! We were so soaked, it wasn't until we were pulling back into the depot that I realized I had drooled on myself from all the laughter. What a great Disney moment. Right up there with my first ever ride on Dumbo coinciding with my daughter's first-ever ride on the same. Good times. You should try it! (I'll be posting a new story I'm working on in segments soon, so please follow my blog so you don't miss a thing!)

Romans 14

2011-02-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

"Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters..." Nobody says it quite like God does. God, in His infinite wisdom, mercy, and perfection, would have His people love one another and all people, for that matter. I've had the privilege of being friends from widely varied walks of life and I try to remain true to my friends, no matter the changes they experience in their own lives. It's sad to me that so few Christians can say the same. I'm amazed that there are people who consider themselves to be of God so MUCH so that they have to separate themselves from other factions of like-minded faithful due to politics, clout, and "disputable matters". They don't want to take in all the scriptures on mercy and long suffering, rather honing in on one or two, when taken out of context and abused, can be made to say whatever the speaker wants it to. These people so vehemently defend their ignorance that they've become absolutely unteachable. They'll defend their self-righteous, arrogant point of view and those like them right to the gates of hellfire. I was shunned last night. Not only was I shunned, I was slammed by the Shunner, based on gossip and mistruths the Shunner had heard from other "respectable, saved" people. It's okay to gossip. Oh, yeah, it's not gossip if the gossiper is somebody you respect. Also, you (the victim), should ignore the gossip, gossiper, and the pursuant damage to your psyche, reputation, and faith because you aren't living right by their standards, so you're wrong no matter what. Ever heard of the old heads and tails game - "heads I win, tails you lose"? That's the name of their game. I wonder how many souls have been won by this self-proclaimed child of God? Is the number proportionate to the number of years they've been "saved"? Is it higher than the number of people they've run off with their tactless mouth? Yeah, I'm being judgmental, but I don't profess to be a great Christian. I'm nobody, but at least I know it. They'll know it when their long sleeves and floor-skimming skirts are stripped away and all that's left is their heart. It'll be too late then.

Why Are You Running Late?

2011-02-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

Are you in a rush? Are you hurrying to get somewhere right this second, but you thought you'd take a second to read a (favorite) blog? Are you always rushing off to get somewhere? Have you ever stopped to think sometimes why exactly you are in a rush? Some people rush and they have no reason for it at all, except that they want to, in their finite mind's eye, be first. Others rush because they set hopelessly high expectations on themselves that no human being could possibly attain and they're constantly frustrated when they fail. Others, still, rush because they have absolutely no concept of how to properly manage their time to do the few tasks on their agenda. What could we accomplish in our lives if we managed our time a little better? People all over the planet are accomplishing stupendous fetes on a daily basis, attaining new heights of greatness, all because instead of wasting time, they actually got up and used some (or all), of the time they were given wisely. Some people just have little victories every day, due to the hardships of life, but they're getting a lot done compared to the Average Joe. Still, they are diligent and do the best they can with what they have. If we could learn to slow down enough to get a lot done, I think we'd be a step or two ahead of most. Just being content with your place in line at the grocery store is a huge head-start on time managed properly, not to mention no tailgating that poor soul in front of you on the freeway - which is bred of impatience, bred of perpetual tardiness, bred of lack of skill to properly manage time. Time will tell, and in the end, be all our undoing, but what to do in the meantime? I desire greatness. Heck, I'll even settle for mediocre. Never mind, I'll get to it right after my nap.

Blessings, Disguised as Inconvenience

2011-02-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

I'm a bad parent. Now, before you go all sympathetic on me, hear me out, because I'm not seeking any unwarranted back-pats or compliments, rather just stating a self-aware fact. I've done things as a parent I'm not proud of. I haven't always put my kids first. Usually, it's unintentional, but aren't "unintentions" truly intended on some subconscious level? I'm also a bad dieter. Terrible, in fact, to the point that I had my stomach re-assembled so I could lose weight. Does that mean that I now give up? On either count? No. I sit here, typing my little heart out, all the while desperately trying to ignore the soft loaf of wheat bread crying out to me from the counter to be toasted and slathered in butter. I will continue to attempt to ignore the siren call of its wheaty goodness, but sometimes I lose. The same is true in my parenting. I don't win every battle of setting myself aside for the good of my kids. Oh, yes, I'll justify my actions with the "me time" conundrum or the "rebellion calls for punishment" verdict. All the while, my humanity tells me I'm being inconvenienced, so I ignore common sense, ethics, and good morals because it isn't convenient. I don't always do what's best for me, though, and I think that at least my son, who is able to speak for himself at this stage in his young manhood, would testify to that. I often witness parents who are obviously inconvenienced, and find myself in their same predicament. For example, Disneyland is a happy place, right? Well, if you're able to ignore everyone else's humanity, it is. Otherwise, you can witness inconvenienced parents and unhappy children by the thousands, join their miserable number, and leave unhappy and very unfulfilled. Some of my happiest Disneyland moments were when I did what my son wanted to do, often to the detriment of my equilibrium, but they were happy times, resulting in the fondest of memories. I'm cutting my thought short because I'm getting long-winded in my old age, but to summarize, what can we do today for our kids that may seem inconvenient now, but reap huge rewards later? (They are forever keeping score, because they're KIDS!) I've cut out my own work for me. Have a great day!

The Art of Self-Preservation and How Little Talent it Requires

2011-02-17T23:36:00.000-08:00

Friendships trounced. Family ties undone. Devastation wrought. Merriam-Webster defines self-preservation as such: preservation of oneself from destruction or harm OR a natural or instinctive tendency to act so as to preserve one's own existence. I was thinking about self-preservation and its implications in my life as well as the lives of every other person on this giant, blue orb today and had so many questions and thoughts. It is true, we are all of us born straightaway with the instinct to "preserve...[our]...own existence", however, as Newton said, there will be an "equal and opposite reaction". In most instances, somebody will most certainly get hurt, least of all the preservasionist him/herself. Throughout history, there are numerous examples of self-preservationists that are infamous on the grandest scale. What about all of us seemingly insignificant self-preservationists? Are our actions, though not likely to be recalled in historicity, still proving to be selfish on the grandest scale to those reaping the consequences? At an early age, we begin to learn the ways of self-preservation via lying, cheating, and stealing - just to name a couple of the top offenders. These things will, as children, save us from getting punished by a parent, or perhaps manifest in ill-gotten gains. The consequence upon discovery of our transgression would be, in most instances, equal to the crime and delivered solely to the incriminated. As adults, the implications of committing any of those "crimes" against your friends or family, (whether inadvertently or not), in an effort to self-preserve, are substantially larger and infinitely more devastating. How can any relationship survive in the face of said selfish and childish behavior? And what would have been preserved? Pride? Dignity? Good conscience? Without prejudice, time and truth prevail, and all of those things are invariably stripped away, leaving you. Alone. If you are a proponent and lover of truth and seeker of wisdom, you will not distress. I'm so overcome with conviction at these thoughts swimming in my small mind, so I put them out there to share. If I've overwhelmed you, please check back another time for more light-hearted chatter on Disneyland or my babies. Today, I weep.

Judge Not...

2011-02-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard something about someone that changed your perception of that person? Have you ever spoken something you knew was a conflagration of the truth? How about repeating something that would be a blend of all things harmful, hurtful, and ugly, just because you're privy to a version of the truth? Perhaps inserting yourself into an affair that reached a "DRAMA"tic apex? I try to refrain from this sort of fray, because I believe my time is better spent focusing on my family, doing good, and working on my [many] shortcomings. That's not to say I haven't been party, whether inadvertently or not, to some such situations. I often find that gossip or hurtful things have been spoken to me before I'm even able to stop the words coming out of the destructive mouth. Sometimes I have been curious to know the pain or "drama" (I HATE that word...), others have been enduring. My curiosity was ill-advised at the time and regrettable still by me. I'd rather not know. Not knowing that you're who you are makes me like you (just a little bit) more. I look at most people with fear, knowing very few have enough honor to try to remain above the sloth of humanity or the willpower to fight their fleshly, selfish desires. In reading the 22nd chapter of Proverbs this morning, in addition to Isaiah 54 (thankfully recommended by my sister, a wise and good disciple), I realized this - We are all dirt. None better than the next, just less talked about because nobody cares about tearing some down because there's nothing to envy or be jealous about. We all have our pettiness and trivialities that cause us moments of foolishness, HOWEVER that doesn't have to be our entire character. You choose what comes out of your mouth, and by so doing, choosing how you are perceived, how well you are liked, and how many honest-to-goodness friends you really have. I feel sheepish even posting this, because I'm nobody. I'll be the first to tell you, I'm nothing. No good. Completely and utterly devoid and incapable of righteousness on my own. Still, let me give you one more, all-important passage of scripture. In Matthew, chapter 7, the Bible says, "²For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. ³And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? ⁴Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?" I am just getting some things off my chest. If I've offended you, maybe some introspection is in fine order. I know that's what I'm doing. I'm going to change the world, but I'll start with me and let God handle the rest.

Music, How I Love Thee!

2011-02-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

Watching the Grammys as I type to all 7 of my avid, voracious readers, and soaking it in as if it's all for me. Music is such an amazing thing. Take the piano, which I happen to know a little about, and let's examine its many applications tonight. Stage for a be-cat-suited Gwyneth Paltrow, accompaniment to Rihanna (played by none other than my man, Adam Levine), re-imagined as a pipe organ head garden by Gaga, and skillfully performed upon by THE Bruno Mars - the piano can be summed up in one word - versatile. No, that's not it. Ummm... Thesaurus.... thesaurus.... ridonkulous. Oh, that's not a word? Well, anyway, it's so awesome how a piano or any number of interesting instruments (I once saw a missionary preaching for my dad play a SAW), can form a cohesive sound that becomes a composition, that becomes art. I love it all. Especially impressed with Eminem tonight and Katy Perry's sorta on-key performance, which hasn't been a norm for her from what I've seen. I'm never disappointed in Gaga's extensive costuming/staging/gimmickry. Mick Jagger just did a set and I'm sure we'll be going out with a bang, but no matter what it is, I'll love it...and envy people who can make a decent, if not lucrative living creating "it". Music. Love it.

BTW - if Barbra Streisand could just kick it up a notch, I'd be grateful. Potty break!

Nobody is Voting, so...

2011-02-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking a trip to Disneyland is in order very soon. I received a really wonderful present from my son, Logan, for Christmas about Disneyland. If you love Disneyland or just like to learn random things, this book is a must have! For those of you who perhaps don't frequent Disneyland as often as those of us who are blessed to live in its vicinity, you may not know that small world is now featuring a show nightly that is akin to the awesome lighting show usually featured just during the holidays. I'll be viewing it for the first time this weekend, so I'll be posting my thoughts and hopefully some pictures! I would like to be challenged to accomplish something exciting and new on each visit, so if you have any suggestions for my Disney excursions, please post in my comments!

What's Up With That?

2011-02-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

Having become fully ensconced in the world of social networking, I completely and utterly neglected my blog for the past year and a half. For those of my wonderful friends and family who don't "do" FB, this is for you! Reagan is getting GINORMOUS and has such a funny personality. Mom moved back close by, so I will be soon submitting a picture and resume for both kids to some talent agencies I was referred to by my cousin. I'm really excited, as I think both of my kids are particularly good looking and have lots of potential. Where does Mom (Grandma Mary), come into the picture? Well, we need her land yacht to take us to auditions, should the need arise, not to mention she's been a huge help already with the kids so I can have a few moments of solitude. Also, I'm going to be teaching piano again here shortly. I'm planning on renting a practice room at Oak Valley Piano in Redlands, across from Citrus Plaza, and I will be specializing in beginner pianists and gospel music expansion. Please send me a message if you or someone you know is interested so I can reserve your spot! I'll soon begin to expound on topics from here to there and everywhere in-between, so please subscribe so you don't miss a thing! Looking forward to writing to my heart's content...

Anniversary Celebration in SD

2009-09-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

We had a great time in San Diego last weekend with Julie and Carlton Jones. Thanks to my good friend, Cameron, we stayed at a posh resort on Coronado for cheap! It was so fun and we ate the ENTIRE time! Our big dinner was at the Ruth's Chris on the bay. It was delicious and romantic. I also got my S'mores Mocha fix at Hash House a Go-Go. Yummy!! We did some shopping and unintentional sight-seeing. (Got lost and ended up taking a "shortcut" through Balboa Park. Beautiful detour!!) We didn't have near enough time to do all of the things listed on Ralph's detailed itinerary, the most regretful of which was lacking the time (and stomach space) for Chuao Chocolatier. Oh, well! Next time!

Man! I KNEW this would happen!

2009-09-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, it's that time of life where you just throw up your hands and say, "Why not?" Actually, this is something we've wanted for a long time and due to lengthy health-related issues I won't bore you with, didn't actually think it would be possible. But here it is. Up in my Kool-Aid. In my grill. Harshing my mellow. Actually, harshing my mellow in an AWESOME way! Ralph and I are having a baby! Yes, FINALLY! =P You are welcome to follow the little alien's progress by watching "it" float eerily about the upper, left corner of my page. Yes, we are HAPPY!! Logan is BURSTING and the family is nothing but supportive! Please feel free to repeatedly congratulate us. Love to feel the love! I'll be back soon, but I will try not to bore you all to death with all the mundane details of the experience. You'll be able to read all about that in my tell-all memoirs. *wink* *wink*

Historicity (LOVE that word! Thanks, T.D.!)

2009-08-31T22:27:00.000-07:00

Twelve years ago today, I married an awesome young man. He still makes me laugh with abandon and he loves me just the way I am. Faults and wonders and all! I won't expound on the ups and downs, but there have been plenty and we're like my Grandma Lucy says. We "take a lickin' and keep on tickin'"!! I love you, Babe! You're perfect for me and I know I'm a lucky, lucky girl... You're the best!!

Hearing the "Hallelujah Chorus" Ringing in My Ears

2009-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

This month marks the anniversary of me and my two oldest friends on the planet. I have known my friend, Bonnie, longer than any of my other friends, period. At the time we met, we were the only girls our age in Truth Tabernacle, the church we both ended up being reared in and home to the school we both graduated from 14 years after we first met. She is the "middle" friend of us three girls in age, and we've got many, many great memories. Her and husband, Matt, have been married for 13 years this month. My other friend, Amanda, I met a couple of years later. Now there were three girls "our age" at Truth Tabernacle. We all got on fabulously and Amanda lived with her family in my same neighborhood for years. My big sis, Stacy, and I had lots of adventures with the Gregg kiddos growing up. Amanda and husband, Erik, have been married for 15 years this month. As life would turn out, I've been married the least amount of time of the 3 of us. Twelve years tomorrow to Ralph, the most wonderful man on planet Earth. We are also the only couple with a child. One child. Logan. Our pride and joy! We are so ecstatic to soon be joined in our adventures of parenting by another of my childhood friends! Amanda and Erik are expecting a "mini-me" next Spring! CONGRATULATIONS, you two! We are very happy for you and your families! And a big CONGRATULATIONS to Bonnie and Amanda for the many years of wedded bliss! I love you girls and I honestly couldn't be more proud to have you both as my friends for life. Whether you like it or not! =D Love you! And LOVE YOU, RALPHIE! You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for loving me!

Happy Anniversary!!!

2009-08-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

Today is my Pastor and his lovely wife's 9th wedding anniversary. You both are incredible people and I'm looking forward to us all heading out for the weekend! Stay classy, San Diego! Love the pic! True art! (Where's Noah? ;-D)

Wickedly Fabulous

2009-08-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

I so empathize with Elphaba Thropp, especially of late. So hated and misunderstood. hehe... (I'm really dark lately, so sorry for that, folks! Bear with me, because I hear that JOY comes in the morning...) I listen to this song full BLAST in my car on a frequent basis. So much so that I had not realized that even my little musically-inclined offspring had memorized the words! He sings it beautifully! =D Hope you all enjoy this, a clip of my favorite part of Wicked. Sans the "pitchy-ness", of course.

Obsess: to haunt or excessively preoccupy the mind of

2009-08-24T00:02:00.001-07:00

I tend to be a little on the obsessive side, and for that reason lose sleep for many varied reasons. Lately, the dark circles under my eyes have become quite pronounced due to my lack of sleep. I think I'm a lot like my dad, the late Rev. Rene Mendoza, as far as being a worrier is concerned. (That's why my friends call me "Whiskers"! Haha...) I obsess about my weight. I obsess about my hair. I obsess about my son’s weight. I also happen to, yes, obsess about his hair. I obsess about minute details that nobody else seems to care about. It's a little embarrassing, actually. It’s a sickness, really, as the few friends I have left will tell you. I obsess about things I have absolutely no control over. I obsess about people I feel wronged by, then hear they feel the same way about me. Then I obsess about who should confront whom, or if well enough should be left alone. Then I start to forget the offense when it’ll rear its ugly head in the form of an email from an angry sister of an “ex-friend”. It’s ludicrous, really. I obsess about how friends, who promised on their own lives our friendship could never end. I know people are human, including myself, but I obsess about the lack of mercy shown by those who have been given, and continue to receive, much mercy themselves. I obsess about daughters who don’t have enough respect for their parents to give them (and their friend who vented to them) the benefit of the doubt or even question the ranting to said parent(s). Instead, I find myself obsessing about how the same daughter, at the apparent urging of her husband, would print those very private emails off and give them to her father-in-law, behind her own parent’s back. I obsess about how her father-in-law would accept said emails of MY rant, essentially accepting material known to be stolen, then use said emails to annihilate our few friends left by reading very limited portions of the emails. (Which, when taken out of context, sound much, much worse than actually were written, plus my apology to the parent was never brought up in these closed-door defamations...) Those friends have been encouraged to not "taint" their ministry by associating with us because "lots" of people are talking?!? "Lots" of people, like who? Like the ministry who should be praying, not talking? I obsess about how my wonderful husband did not ask for ANY of this. I obsess over the utter betrayal and under-handed techniques employed by people who profess to be lovers of God. I obsess about how family members would turn their backs on us, based on egregious, blown-up extractions of what was supposed to be a private email conversation. I obsess with how one or many may actually be convinced my husband and I have any desire, much less the propensity, to hurt them after everything we have been through together. Obviously, I’ve become quite obsessed and I apologize to those of you who may be very lost reading this. It sometimes feels good to rant, as many, if not all, of you may do from time to time. The problem is, when I ranted about what I still feel are quite valid feelings to a friend, my thoughts and discussion were stolen and are being used for character assassination against me AND my husband, who has truly been the victim here. Yes, I’ve become quite obsessed with preserving a wonderful legacy of hard work, perseverance, and loyalty the McCorkles once held in our former parish that goes back further than ALL of the people there now. Say about me what you will. Some of the versions of “truth” I’ve heard and that have reached my family members all the way to Fresno, are quite hurtful. I cannot change that. I don’t obsess nearly as much about that. It’s the fact that my husband is being lumped in with my absurdity that hurts and blows me away. If you are TRULY hurt, why didn’t you do what it says in Matthew 18? I guess I have a different Bible or something, but I REALLY, REALLY wish you would have come to ME first, instead of making the leap to naming us heathens, not worthy of your social graces or those of the people you have charge over. If you were so hurt, WHY, oh, why didn’t you come to me and address your pain? I would have quickly and whole-heartedly apologized for the pain I caused, but the pain you have caused as a result so much more outweighs my private thoughts. We have tried to clear up any and all discrepancies, but you won't hear it , so I'm reduced to airing all the dirty laundry for the world to see in hopes you may read. I wonder what we would find out if your private thoughts, rantings, and vents about people you have to deal with were laid bare for the world to see and judge?

FB, MySpace, and Other Such "Evils"

2009-08-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

After a long stint on Facebook and sometimes MySpace, I have closed those accounts and decided to start blogging again instead. I hope that I will again get some readers and I welcome comments and suggestions! Eventually I will be blogging almost solely on the subject of the Disneyland Resort. I doth think myself an expert on that particular subject matter and hope I can provide lots of tips and goodies to the readers out there!

I'm currently working on a post that will shed some light (just enough to give me peace of mind) on what I've been up to lately. Then, it's onward and upward!

I look forward to your feedback, suggestions, and encouragement!

Wazzzzzuuuuuuupppppp????

2009-06-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while, to say the least, but here I be! Just wanted to let all you peeps know that I'm alive and well! I also have a more recent picture of my renovated self. Thanks to all of you who have egged me on to post! I'll try to do more on here soon!

Meanwhile, here is the much-requested pic! Me, after at least 100 pounds weight loss. I'm almost my former self! yay! (I still don't take good pictures and here I was dressed for work, name tag and all! lol! Oh, well!)

I'll be back soon! Maybe...

Holiday Cheer

2008-12-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

Well, things have been quite busy around here, with company in and out and just Christmas "hectic-ness" period. Wow. I'm amazed I've had time to cram in a little reading, but I have been anxious to finish the series I am on. I hope that you all had a lovely Christmas. Mine was peachy. I had two early Christmas presents. First, Bonnie flew in to visit for a few days, we shopped, went to Disneyland, and otherwise chilled. Then, my (practically) sister, Candace flew in from MO to stay for a whole week! We also shopped, went to Disneyland, and otherwise chillaxed. Good times. Very good times. My grandparents came in on the 23rd and things have just not slowed down. Until today. Now, I write to you all to bring you good tidings of great joy. OK, it's not THAT great, but I figured I let you in on it, just in case you'd like the option. Starting January 1st, you can go to Disneyland for free on your birthday in 2009! You have to sign up on their website, but I think that's a pretty good deal. If you happen to have season passes, then they give you gift store credit or something like that comparable to a one-day ticket. You should all check it out! I'll be at DL on my birthday in a couple of weeks, working that credit! Woo-hoo! hehehe... I will try to be back around these parts more. The election really sucked the wind out of me, but I'm slowly but surely regaining my hold on terra firma. Be back soon! Peace out!

Wintry Wizardry

2008-12-08T18:14:00.000-08:00

I thought WE had a lot of lights. We have nothing, comparatively speaking! HA! This is set to my very favorite Christmas song, btw, "Wizards in Winter". My favorite non-secular Christmas song is "O, Holy Night". Just in case you're wondering! ;-)

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 98

2008-12-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

So, I'm getting worse and worse about updating my weight loss on here! Sorry about that! I've been somewhat preoccupied, but here are a couple of pictures. The heavier one of me was taken in August, just 2 weeks before surgery. The "lighter" one of me, 70 lbs. lighter in fact, was taken yesterday during our Christmas card photo shoot by my awesome friend, Barb. Check out her blog for more of the pictures from that session! She did a wonderful job!

Birthday Boy!

2008-12-02T10:02:00.000-08:00

On this very day, three LOOOOONNNNG decades ago, a miraculous thing occurred. A Ralphie was born. Ralph William McCorkle, Jr. Turning 30 years young today. I just want to wish him a wonderful day and let him know how much I appreciate him putting up with all my antics! I love you, babe! Happy, happy, happy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Thanks Y'all!

2008-11-27T14:45:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving. I was thinking up a big blog for today, but after I read my husband's, I decided to just put a link to his instead. It just about says it all. I'm thankful for my husband, son, mom, and the rest of my family, which are quite numerous. My church family - I don't know where I'd be. My very best girlfriends in the world - Candace, Bonnie, Barbara, Amanda, and Rose - I don't deserve you all, but I'm so thankful for you. So, that's about enough out of me. Now, I send you to my husband's blog and I hope you enjoy and have wonderful Thanksgiving!

Oh, Well - right?

2008-11-11T12:12:00.000-08:00

There Goes the Country...

2008-11-05T07:35:00.000-08:00

Over the Mountains and Through the Woods...

2008-11-03T18:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'm in full-on packing/travel mode. I'm doing laundry and I've got tons of things to pick up from the dry cleaner and tailor tomorrow. I'm excited. Yay! We are going to be on our way to Fresno tomorrow for the annual West Coast Conference. One minor downside is that I didn't quite have the shopping success I was hoping for, so I'm scrambling a couple of things together that will have to do. It'll just be so fun to be with some of my favorite people in the universe (Amanda and Bonnie) and see a lot of other wonderful people. I'm so glad that I have such a solid home church family. I'm proud to have come from Fresno and Truth Tabernacle. I learned so much there and learned to appreciate it so much more once I was gone. I also will have the opportunity to visit with my family since most of them live in the Great Valley still. I miss them all so much and that will be so fun as well. Can't wait to see you all, if you're reading from Fresno! Ready or not...here I come! =D

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 64

2008-10-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I've lost about 50 pounds. (I say "about", because I only weigh myself once a week, so it's probably more now that I haven't weighed in 5 or so days.) I feel terrific and I seem to be completely recovered from the immediate hardships I was having. It's a great feeling. I HAD to buy something to wear to church last night, because I wasn't just saying it to be moody that I didn't have a thing to wear! LOL It's for realsies, folks! Anyhoo, I guess wearing something that fits me was quite surprising, because many thought I had actually been able to lose another 20 pounds between this past Sunday and last night. HAHA! Nope. Just clothes that fit. Anyway, here's a picture update, even though I'm a couple of days late for the "2 month mark". See y'all around and round! =D

The Empress's New Clothes

2008-10-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

Well, today has been something else, to say the least. And it's just the beginning of a VERY busy week. Ralph has taken to calling me "Grandma McCorkle" for all the doctor's appointments I have to attend this week. I've got 2 physical therapy appointments, a tooth filling, teeth cleaning, follow-up with my gastric surgeon, AND full head x-ray for braces. TOLD you!! LOL Tons going on, then next week, we all pack up and head to Fresno for WCC. I'm super-excited about that, except that I usually have my full wardrobe picked out in my head at least a month before. Well, this time it's a little different, since none of my clothes fit. I'll admit I'm in an enviable position, being too small in stature to fit into my "tres fab" clothes, but I don't know how I'm going to build a wardrobe for 5 services in less than a week!!! It took years to get my closet going after gaining the weight, now I'm back to square one. I am so desperate, I even bought shoes online, just hoping they'll fit! (I think they will and they are CUTE! Pictured above!) I do already have one thing I can wear with them, so it wasn't a completely frivolous buy, so anyway... I'm headed to second-hand stores on Friday, so hopefully I'll make up for the shoe purchase!! =D

Come again?!?

2008-10-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Give that woman a RAISE! Can you BELIEVE his answers?!? Ugh! What an unfunny joke, him and Obama. Unfunny.

Closet SALE!

2008-10-24T17:48:00.001-07:00

Don't forget! If you live in or around my area, tomorrow my mom and I have teamed up to sell a bunch of great clothes. Priced from $.25 to $25, there will be LOTS of great deals on hand! Shoes, suits, skirts, dress jackets, and much MORE! Please join us tomorrow at 9 a.m. to help us clean our closets OUT! Bring a friend or a relative or both. Come one, come ALL!

Stand Still and KNOW

2008-10-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

The 2008 Election is fast-approaching! Do you know who you're going to vote for? According to my poll here at the top of my page, I should have run for President as well! Could have done some damage. Although there's not enough damage control in the WORLD if I had run! ha! So, not knowing any of my policies or great "ideas" on how to run the world, er, America, many of you voted for me. So, do you know where your candidate stands? I hope so. Unfortunately, I know right where my candidate stands, but there's just no other choice. (I voted for Mitt Romney in the primaries...) Anyway, get educated about this wonderful process that makes the USA the best place to live, hands down.

"Nutty"

2008-10-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

WWRD - What Would Reagan Do?

2008-10-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER TO VOTE FOR CALIFORNIANS!!! Don't forget! It is our civic duty as citizens of the greatest country in the WORLD to participate in the process that makes us the envy of the countries of the world. I know the choices we have in this election may seem unbearable (at least that's how they seem to me), but don't let that discourage you from taking part altogether! Forget "moveon.org" and "ACORN", we can start our own "movement"! Let's do it!

The Sale of the Century sob!

2008-10-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

So, as most of you know by now, I'm losing some weight. As a result of said weight loss, my "tres magnifique" wardrobe no longer fits me properly. In fact, most of my clothes are HUGE. Seeing as I don't have a million dollars lying around, I need new clothes - FAST. That's where you all come in! Next Saturday, the 25th @ 9 a.m., I will be opening the vault doors and allow my clothes to go home with YOU. (For a nominal fee, of COURSE, so the new and improved wardrobe may be purchased!) The thing is, it will be quite a sale, considering the ensembles and pieces I have accumulated are numerous and lovely, if I do say so myself. (And I DO say so!) Also, my mom is allowing me to clean out her closet by selling a lot of suits and the like that she no longer wears. Long story short, we'll have clothes from sizes Misses' 8 to Women's 22 and accessories (shoes, etc.) available to purchase for very good prices. You do NOT want to miss this opportunity to buy what I like to think of as "Certified Pre-Owned" clothing. Some of the items still have tags! *Gasp* Alright, I think that's enough said. Please contact me @ christinabernice@gmail.com if you need more information and plan on coming! Toodles!

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 50

2008-10-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

I'm an eating MANIAC! (Or I feel that way anyway...) Yeah, I've got to eat, like, 6 meals a day instead of the 3 the doctor initially instructed me to do. It's REALLY hard, especially to keep a little variety, but I must say I feel awesome. (Remember my "meal" is about 1/4 cup of food!) I really feel like I could run a marathon. Well, maybe not a marathon, but I could at least go check the mail! hehehe... I'm [finally] going to be playing keys in church again and/or singing starting this Sunday. I am not scheduled this month, but I'll be around and I'm stoked about it! There's something about ministry that draws me like a moth to flame. I love doing it and being a part of something so neat. I know I'm supposed to be reporting weight LOSS in these reports, but I haven't lost much more and had a little gain, so I'll post when I have better news. The good news now is how GREAT I feel. I'll be posting my 2-month picture in 2 short weeks, so stay tuned!

P.S. Don't forget that Monday is the voter registration deadline for Californians! Don't allow ACORN to elect our next President!!!!

My Family and Friends

2008-10-15T13:26:00.001-07:00

Photobucket Album

News Flash

2008-10-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

So sorry for the lack of posting here! I have been without my computer for the last week, because I've been in the hospital! Ugh! It was a definite low point for me. In a nutshell, I had a stricture (scar tissue that causes the opening from pouch to stomach to grow smaller), and as a result of the stricture became extremely malnourished and dehydrated. I was admitted to the hospital last Tuesday in O.C. and got out this past Monday night. I feel much, much, MUCH better and I'm glad to be out, to say the least!

All right, enough of that.

So, how about this election?? Everybody registered to vote?? I sure hope so. If not, please visit my friends at Voter Registration and git 'er done! No excuses! This election is IMPORTANT!! I am registered to vote by absentee ballot, which makes the fuss on Election Day of little or no importance to me. I just sit and wait for the results. Well, WHAT are you WAITING for?!? Go register! And don't forget to vote November 4!!!!

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 30

2008-10-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

So, I promised a picture of me at the one month mark. Total pounds lost - 36. Pounds lost since surgery - 24. It is a picture of me at Disneyland again and it's all decorated for my favorite season! Fall! Since this picture was taken, I've lost another 5 pounds at least, but I'm trying not to weigh myself every day, so it could be more. =D

Tagged...

2008-09-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

I'd been "Tagged" and didn't realize it until today. Sometimes I go for a few days without reading my favorite blogs, then I'll catch up on some down time. So, Kathy McElhaney tagged me to write 6 unspectacular things about me. That's easy... hehehe...

1. I don't like ethnic food.
2. I have Mickey ears for my car antenna for every season.
3. I'd live in Alaska for the cold, not just because of Palin.
4. I love the smell in my neighborhood when it's cold and damp.
5. I'm named after my grandmas. (paternal and maternal)
6. I read the entire book of Judges in one night, so I'm easily caught up and can waste a lot of time reading or forego food and sleep for the sake of a good read. (very intriguing!)

Now, I tag the following: Sarah, Von, Barb, Rose, Jana, and Kari.

The rules go that you have to list your 6 things and tag 6 more people. Good luck! It's harder than it seems!

Gaming

2008-09-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

I'm an old-fashioned "gamer". I love to play board games with my family. We (almost) always have a grand, ol' time, but it depends sometimes on the mood of mama and papa bear. So, usually after we're done eating dinner, I'll ask Logan to pick out a game for us to play. After several vetoes by mama and papa, he'll usually find one that we all know how to play and can consequently may enjoy. Tonight he picked one of my favorites. Scrabble. Ahhh... For Christmas last year, I received not one, but TWO deluxe editions from different family members, knowing I liked the game. One, obviously, went back to the store, but the other has a nice niche in our game cupboard. Logan pulled it out and my husband immediately stated he wouldn't be playing if both me AND my mom would be! LOL (He likes to win...) hehehe... Well, my mom wasn't playing, so we all settled in. I had to take a picture this time, though, because last time my other Scrabble nerdy friends didn't believe that we [legally] used every piece by the end of the game. We did it again tonight. Logan did all of his own words, though a couple of times he would ask how certain words were spelled. Logan did a GREAT job and I'm so proud of my "little Scrabbler"! Ralph ALMOST won, but I pulled out a 16 pt. word on my last throw-down. So, I pulled ahead of him by 3 and won. Logan held his own with the big bears and we had a great time. I strongly encourage family game time as a quiet time to bond and have fun with the people you love and care about most!

P.S. I was too tired to contest the usage of "gil", but did doubt that was actually a word! LOL

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 21

2008-09-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I am able to eat soft solids now and string cheese never TASTED more delicious! LOL I had some pasta fagioli soup at Olive Garden yesterday and today I've had low-sugar yogurt and string cheese. I'm eating like royalty now! It feels that way anyway, after being so restricted. I'm going to cook for my poor, neglected family tonight and I'm really looking forward to feeding them again. I'm making chicken tacos with beans and rice and I hope they love it as much as I will love preparing it for them. (I can eat a little chicken and beans, but it's better than NOTHING!) So, now I'm trying to figure out things that I can make for dinner that include the limited ingredients I'm allowed to eat while not depriving my boys any more of eating homemade goodness. I WISH I liked tuna casserole! BLECH! I just don't. In a few more days, I'll be able to have any white fish, so we may grill some halibut, veggies, with a little brown rice on the side. If you have any suggestions on how else I can make canned chicken into a terrific meal, my ears are OPEN! Actually, it would be my EYES are open, since I'll be READING your reply! Bonjour! P.S. I'VE LOST ABOUT A POUND A DAY... 21 so far and counting!

I'm a Happy Gal

2008-09-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a good mood today! I felt like singing! That hasn't happened in a while, but there are several contributing factors to my feeling of joy. First of all, last night Bro. Jonathan Shoemake preached a great, uplifting message. Second, a family situation that had been weighing on my mind and heart was resolved. Third, when I woke up, I remembered that today is my appointment at the Apple store to get my phoney-phone fixed! Yay! Ok, so the last one isn't as important as the first two, but it was a contributor nonetheless. Especially since the Apple representative I spoke with on Saturday about all the quirks in my phone said that she is putting me down for a replacement! Whether the geeks at the Apple store agree, well, time will tell. I just want my phone to work right and I don't want to have to "send it in". If I'm told I'll have to "send it in", then that will, for at least a moment, wipe the silly grin right off my face. I still have SOOOO much to be grateful for, I intend to focus on that. Thank You, Jesus for EVERYTHING You have done!

Day of Infamy

2008-09-11T14:40:00.000-07:00

I was lying in bed, between that state of sleep and being fully awake when the phone rang. It was my husband's grandma, Clara McCorkle. She said (as she did EVERY time she called, no matter the time of day...), "Were you sleeping?" I half-lied, saying, "No", even though I was still half-asleep. She proceeded to tell me that our nation was under attack and at war. Grandma McCorkle had a certain notoriety for further-hyping things she learned via the drive-by media, so I listened as patiently as possible. As she began to describe the now infamous attack on the first tower, my interest and fear were piqued and I reassured her that everything would be fine. I told her I'd be over to her house as soon as I could, then we hung up. I quickly proceeded to get the alarm clock/radio that Ralph used to wake himself up every morning and take it into my son, Logan's, room. (His room got the best reception in our little double-wide in upper Yucaipa...) I tuned into KFI and laid down with my then three-year old in his bed, holding him tighter and tighter in horror at what I was hearing. Bill Handel was on, as it was his usual time slot, but he was relaying a commercial-free account of what he was watching unfold on the many news stations he was monitoring. I'll never forget him shouting, "The second tower is hit!" I jumped up from the bed, and forgetting my usual morning routine, scrambled to get to Grandma's house. Being at her house always made me feel safe, and never more so than that awful day. I hope that we, as a wonderfully free and privileged people will NEVER forget.

Move over, Richard Simmons!

2008-09-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to ease into a life of more activity, less Internet surfing. *sigh* Old habits die hard, though, so here I sit, blogging and, in essence, procrastinating. I've decided, for now anyway, not to join a gym. The only ladies' gym around here is Curves, which I don't care for, and I hate going to co-ed gyms, especially at my SIZE. Too, too, too embarrassing! Even IF I am fully modest and clothed, it's unbearable to be next to the beautiful Olympians that always seem to find their way to the treadmill right NEXT to mine! ugh! Anyhoot, I will stick to my little walking DVD's and expect miraculous results, of course! Also, my mother-in-law has told me she will give me her weight bench, so that's a nice little start to the home gym I plan to have set up in the garage. It may be a while, though, seeing as we have the Antiques Roadshow going on in there! Would SOMEBODY (Ralph), PLEASE clean that out?!? LOL!!! So, anybody have any good, work-out-at-home tips for me? I'm still limited to low-impact, but I should be able to get doctor clearance, in the next week or two, to go for the gold! Gotta go. I'm going to go buy a jump rope.

Picture It...

2008-09-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

So, here is a pic of me a couple of weeks before my surgery, and, yes, I disliked my photo being taken. I wanted to post this, in case you haven't seen me in a while or perhaps didn't think I was quite large enough to qualify. (I doubt it!) LOL So, last night out with some friends, the topic most of the night was weight and what we eat. I think they were feeling bad about eating in front of me while I sipped broth, but I was just happy to know anybody cared enough to want to go out with us! Anyhoo, I was reminded how, for the longest time, it hadn't really occurred to me how out of hand my weight was. I wouldn't allow anybody to take pictures of me, because there would be PROOF! HA! Also, when I would see the picture, the proof was undeniable, especially when I was pictured with someone not as large. So, I don't know how much you weigh and I don't care, but if you aren't sure how everybody sees YOU, take a picture of yourself and have a look! It's eye-opening! Hence, the reason I'm posting my pre-surgery pic. That is what all y'all had to look at and I don't want to ever forget!

Saracuda

2008-09-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

Since my last blog, something has happened that has never been before in history! Sarah Palin was nominated with John McCain as the first-ever woman vice-presidential candidate in history!!!! I am pumped, to say the LEAST. I was NOT happy about McCain, but now I'm much happier. I spoke with someone very close to me today who said they would probably vote for Obama because he gave an excellent acceptance speech. Well! I didn't try to change her mind because I think Obama will win either way. Get ready for some super-duper tax hikes and universal health care! We're heading into Socialism, my friends. Quickly. Get out and vote. Don't forget and KNOW your candidate, not just his speeches!!! A good speech does NOT a good President make...

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 6

2008-09-02T23:52:00.000-07:00

I had my first post-op visit today with the P.A., Allie. She's really nice and had the [dis]pleasure of removing my drainage tube. Yikes! You're about to FEEL some pressure... Yeah. There was pressure alright! HA! Actually, I feel LOTS better with it out. Learning my limits still though! (I almost fell out in the middle of Long's Drugs tonight...) It's really hard to get the nutrition I need to just be able to function properly and not feel like a starving person. Especially when the dreaded shakes taste like what I can only imagine parsnip juice prepared by the Grinch himself tastes like! Blech! So, she did give me some "doable" options to the shakes and I am oh, so grateful for that. I am sad, though, because tomorrow my friends are leaving me. Of course, they didn't HAVE to be here and I am SOOO blessed that they were here, but I'll miss them nevertheless! We've had a lot of memorable experiences in our lives as girlfriends since we were wee children, but this weekend probably takes the cake! hehehe... They're so FUN in they're own ways and I just love them both to pieces! BONNIE AND MANDA, I WILL MISS YOU!!!!! Well, I'm looking forward to finding sugar free Nesquick... Ciao!

Rapid Weight Loss Report - Day 4

2008-08-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have lost some weight, but I don't really like weighing myself. I have avoided the scale for so many years, I just wince at the thought of having to step on it! Although I did weigh yesterday and today, I think I will steer clear until my doctor appointment on Tuesday. I'm too traumatized by everything right now to see if I have or haven't lost another pound. Ugh! I have a yucky drainage bag attached to my insides that's supposed to help with leak detection, but I can't WAIT to get it out! It comes out on Tuesday at the doctor appointment. They say it's not terribly painful to get it out, but I'm not sure they KNOW! It's the whole "pressure" thing. You're about to feel some "pressure", then WHAM! lol Anyway, I'm doing good, just trying to stay busy and not focus on my lack of food! =D I can't do much because I have to stay close to home and have a teensy, tiny bit of protein shake every hour. If I don't, well, I get quite weak. It's kind of a catch 22... Other than that, things are GRAND. Today is my 11th wedding anniversary, so Happy Anniversary, Ralph!

I've Made It Home!

2008-08-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

I'm HOME SWEET HOME from the hospital! My surgery was, according to the head surgeon, a great success. I'm very tired and re-learning how to eat is pretty tough. I walked into the pantry when we got home to throw something away and I wanted to eat ALL of the food in it! LOL But I can't. I have to have liquids only, so that's what I'm-a-doin'! :D We'll see. It'll be nice to have a cold shake that I can half-way enjoy, so Ralph is fixing that up for me right now. I'll keep you all updated on my progress! My first follow-up appointment is this Tuesday and they'll be taking out my drain, which is the primary source of my pain right now. Once that is out, I'll be able to take deeper breaths and move around a lot more.

Feasting...

2008-08-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine who has been in this same exact position, having had the same surgery some years back, has advised me to really eat what I LIKE now, before it's too late! LOL Soooo, I just had ice cream for breakfast. I can't eat after 3 p.m. today, so I had something today that I may possibly never be able to have again. It's so sweet that it really has a terrible effect on someone with shortened intestines! I'll probably just have a good, ol' PB&J for lunch, with Ruffles of course! Then, that's it. I'll be on liquids until midnight, then absolutely NOTHING.

I started cleaning out my closet and dresser yesterday. I have a LOT of things that aren't even worth selling that I'm going to take to a second-hand store and drop off. The rest of my nicer things I'm getting organized in "size groups" so I can wear them one last time, at least, on my way down, down, down! =D

For what it's worth, I am trying to stay busy because I'm very nervous. VERY nervous. Ugh...

Anniversaries Celebrated Disney Style!

2008-08-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

Voting is Cool

2008-08-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

So, I listened to some of my favorite radio talk shows this morning and have some things brewing in my mind about the upcoming election. I've expressed concerns on this blog of a political nature, but this time my concern has little to no bias. My concern is this: we don't vote the way we should! I know WAY too many people of voting age who do not exercise their right to do so! Guess what? I don't want to hear your bellyaching when taxes are through the roof and we are so inundated with ILLEGAL aliens our health care system collapses. So, not COMPLETELY unbiased, but get yourself registered and vote for something! Know at least the bullet point issues and know your candidate. Make a difference in your world. God allowed us to be citizens of the GREATEST COUNTRY on the face of the PLANET. Be grateful and show a little concern and patriotism! WOOO! I'm FIRED up!!!

T minus 7...

2008-08-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

One week from today I will hopefully be recovering from a successful gastric bypass and gallbladder removal surgery. I have such a wonderful support group who are all eager to help me out during the hospital stay and after. I'm so excited. I still have a LOT of clothes to go through. I'm not doing very well in that regard. I'm glad I'll fit into smaller sizes, but I'm not looking forward to not fitting into my very many CUTE shoes! hehehe... (If I do say so myself...) =D Otherwise, bring on the SKINNY!

Things have been quiet out there. Nobody is commenting... Oh, well, I regularly have long discussions with myself. Toodles!

T minus 14...

2008-08-13T00:24:00.000-07:00

Exactly 2 weeks from today I will be having gastric bypass surgery. I have been preparing for this for months, but it still seems quite surreal. Tonight (it's 12:30 AM, so I'm a little turned around...) I read through most of the pre-operative manual that was given me by my surgeon. There is a LOT of information, some I was aware of, some not. As I read, I was again compelled to Google some things in regards to the surgery in search of more information. I feel pretty well-informed, but there's always something new to learn! Always! I'm definitely not looking forward to the pain, which is looming in my near future! However, of all of the research I have done and many, MANY people I have spoken to who have actually HAD the surgery, I still feel good about it. I've had a lot of people ask me if I'm getting nervous and I think tonight I got a little case of "nerves". Hopefully, my full schedule of x-rays, examinations, work, and closet-cleaning will keep my mind occupied in other places. I'm still waiting on pix from my friend from our Disneyland trip and I'll be posting those real soon! *fingers crossed*

Mouse-aholic

2008-08-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

I had a great day at Disneyland yesterday with two VERY good, lifelong pals of mine! All of our husbands came along and since we all have anniversaries in August, we all got Happy Anniversary pins! It was great fun, until it came time for the fireworks. Or lack thereof. UGH! The show cancellation wouldn't have been so disappointing had we not been waiting for over 2 hours, had a FRONT row (or curb) seat, and had to listen to a unhappy child scream at the top of his lungs for the duration of the wait. Yikes. I think Matt was actually maddened. LOL This is a rare occurrence for the viewing public, as those who know him know. Ick! That was poorly worded. Oh, well! That may be the last time I go to Disneyland until after my surgery. I really wanted to have cotton candy, but it didn't sound as good as it usually does. Of course, I am really trying to lose those 10 pounds by surgery time! =D As for my illness, I am completely recovered, save a nagging cough, which I tend to have anyway! My eyes look normal and the only evidence of my having been sick is the scab from my fever blister. I'm so glad! Especially since that means I'll get to see my little Ella girl tomorrow!! We're picking her up in the afternoon and keeping her indefinitely! Yay! Little sweetie! I'll be back around later!

T minus 20 and Counting...

2008-08-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

I've just gotten home from seeing the surgeon who will be performing gastric bypass on me in a couple of weeks and I've got lots of homework! First of all, he gave me a "small" pamphlet explaining in morose detailing all aspects of the procedure. Also, he just threw in that he'd like me to lose 10 pounds by surgery time. TEN. POUNDS. Hello, doc? Are we sure you're clear WHY I'm here? LOL Ok.... He also felt it was necessary to reprimand me for not taking my high blood pressure medicine. Alright, so he didn't "reprimand", but he did strongly suggest I immediately commence hitherto, else I'll possibly not have so much "fun" during surgery. Yikes! I also have to go have blood work and a MRI done, like, right now. Then, about a week before surgery, I'll be in classes all day learning about the procedure in's and out's, including being tested on my knowledge before being able to proceed! I guess this is why the surgeon I chose has such a high success rating, not that there aren't any risks involved, just not TONS. Well, I'll be working on all this homework for the next couple of weeks, but I will try to keep you more inquisitive readers "in the know". Ciao!

Thanks for Praying!

2008-08-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

So, I threw a mini-fit to get in to see the specialist yesterday! And it worked! I was having so many different things going on that they were not wanting me to take any type of relief medications for, it was quite miserable!! Waiting to see the doctor who would decide if I could take said relief meds until Thursday was getting on my "nervous". (As Logan used to say when he was a little guy...) So, the cornea specialist walked in and took one look at me and said, "Wow! You've REALLY got red eyes!" Yeah, no kidding, Einstein. I guess his "specialty" is overstating the obvious. My eyes had already been dilated by the man-nurse I had and so the doc, (CAREFULLY CLEANING EVERYTHING WITH ALCOHOL!!! LOL) looked into my eyes. When the student doctor began to enter the room, he immediately dismissed him telling him, "This woman has a highly contagious virus, so you can't be in here." Okay... I've only been all over and haven't had any "victims" fall prey to my scary eyes, so whatever. So after the doctor dismissed my scandalously red eyes as severe, viral, bleeding pink eye, I was now able to take meds to relieve the other symptoms I had developed. Today, I write to you with an almost completely healed right eye - (Thank You, Jesus!) - and a left eye that has improved leaps and bounds. Thanks for your prayers and I'm looking forward to full recovery!

UNpleasantries

2008-08-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can see from this candid photo, I have the "sicky" eyes! Well, it's just one eye in the pic, but believe you me, it's the better looking eye right now! Boy, I tell you what, I rarely feel compelled to SCRATCH my eyeballs, but lately the urge has been nigh irresistible. Don't panic! You can't "catch" what I've got just by looking at my ugly picture! No concrete diagnosis yet, although the ophthalmologist said yesterday he's thinking hemorrhaging conjunctivitis. So, if you are praying for me, go right on ahead and keep that up! I'll take all the prayers I can get!!

Takes a Lickin' and Keeps on Tickin'!

2008-08-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

Lots going on around these parts! *whew!* I have been approved for gastric bypass surgery and will be meeting with the operating surgeon this Thursday. In OTHER news, I have had a relapse of Stevens-Johnson syndrome and will have to see a ??cornea specialist?? on Thursday as well. Thursday will be a busy, busy day, because we are also re-starting our Worship Team practices. I'm falling apart at the seams and Ralphie can't help but compare me to his ailing Grandma, God rest her soul! He's too much! LOL Anyway, I've been having a lot of people pray for me, as this condition can be a formidable foe to my good health.

On the "lighter" side, (pun INTENDED), my weight loss has unofficially begun due to my waning appetite from illness. ugh...

God is STILL good!! I know I could be much worse off and since I have called out the troops to begin praying, I feel a lot better already. I would really love to WOW the specialist by not having any symptoms on Thursday! Please help me PRAY!!!

Precious Little Ones

2008-06-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

I had to share this picture. It's my son, Logan, and my niece, Ella. Aren't they lovely??? The picture was taken by a wonderful friend of mine who is "learning the biz". She did a great job!

Batie

2008-06-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

Katie, Katie, Katie... Wow. Do I ever have loads of memories with this girl. Most of them were made on the many BQ trips we took, literally all over the country. I came to love this girl and her parents, who were assistant coaches at the time. What wonderful times we had trying to kill time on the way to our tournaments. Heaven forbid we actually studied on the way and thankfully Russ didn't make us. Much. LOL One particularly memorable tournament was, (I think!) in Napa? It was Extravaganza time and there were lots of unfamiliar faces and teams. There were a couple of guys who were, uh, hmmm, "into" us? LOL!!! They were soooo distracting in our last quiz! We should have had that. Or maybe not. There these two goofballs sat, right in the front row, just STARING at us during the quiz. Looking back, I'm pretty sure they were just staring at YOU, but you were nice enough to make me feel "loved" with the attention. One of my very favorite games EVER was against Bakersfield in Chula Vista. Frankie contested question #18 or 19, something like that, and they deliberated for close to an hour. (I think it was denied...) We were so BORED up there and Russ was MAD that we didn't take it seriously. Having now coached a team of my own, I feel his pain. I could go on and on and on and ON, but I won't. Love you, girl, and glad we've got such wonderful memories!

Joy Unspeakable

2008-06-25T16:13:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all, sorry I haven't been by here in some time. I'm back now and should be able to keep up here! The next friend of mine on my links list I'd like to talk about is Jana. I haven't known Jana a long time, but we are definitely kindred spirits. I met Jana (officially-lol) at Junior Camp a few years ago. Ever since then, we just have remained somewhat close. Sometimes closer than others, but always just picking right up where we have left off. She is an extremely gifted musician, singer, and songwriter. Her songs are magnificent! I can't wait till she puts out a CD, because I will be one of the first in line! We worked together on a live recording project and she did an outstanding job. We may actually finish it one of these years. LOL!!! She is a devoted mother and wife and a hard worker to boot. We will be friends for many years to come...

My Penny-pinching Friend

2008-06-07T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have known "SheGazelle" for EVER. We grew up together, sort of, kind of, but not really. LOL I'm a LITTLE older than her, but we have had many of the same experiences having been through the same rigors of life. She is someone with a great sense of style. I LOVE checking out her clothes, because she's always cutting edge, yet modest. Wonderful. Also, she cracks me up on a regular basis. She is quite hilarious and witty. She has some of the most beautiful skin. My WORD! NOT fair!!! hehehe... Most of my readers know her, but for those of you who don't, I'm so sorry I cannot reveal "SheGazelle's" true identity! I enjoy your blog SG! Chrissypoo, OUT!

Ms. Beethoven

2008-06-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

I cannot remember the first time I met Von de Leigh. (It's been THAT long!!!! lol) I do remember seeing her at PSR, dressed to the 9's, with a pack of guys following her around! She is so beautiful and such a sweet person to boot! Whenever I email Von de Leigh or see her, she is just so nice and genuine. That's hard to find, even in Pentecost, unfortunately! We are also fellow musicians. I remember she played the piano at a mutual friend's wedding beautifully! Fur Elise, I think, but I'm really bad with the classical names! I am glad to count her as a friend and value her friendship!

My friend, Kari

2008-06-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

I am doing something a little different for my next few blogs, pending any really important preempts, if there is any important news in McCorkle Land. I am going to write some brief essays on the people that I have put links to their blogs on my page. On. Boy, what an awful sentence! Oh, well! Stop analyzing and enjoy these walks down memory lane!

The first person listed on my page is Kari Morgan. I knew her, not so many years ago as Kari MAY Runner. Not that she's a different person now, we just go WAY back! I remember being at the Youth Convention where Kari first met Doug and they started dating then, I think! Before that, we went to T.T.C.S. together for a few years. We weren't in the same grade, but I was in the same grade as her younger brother, Joe. So, school days were pretty interesting and fun and crazy! LOTS of great times! We also used to attend Section 7 Youth Camp together, though we were hardly ever in the same cabin because she is LOTS older than me. HA! JK!!! There was one time I'm sure she remembers vividly, that we were up at said camp and I was attacked by a swarm of meat bees. Ouch! That was a rough day. LOL So, to say the least, I have a lot of wonderful memories with Kari and she still makes me LAUGH every time we speak and/or chat. She is an awesome person to know and I'm glad that I do.

Comings and Goings

2008-06-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it back from the land of no Internet connectivity! (Grandma's house in Fresno, that is...) My poor, little computer missed me! hehehe... I came home to a wonderful surprise! My husband had planted some jasmine, bougainvillea, and other beautiful plants in the front yard! Also, the backyard finally has sod and plants in those flower beds as well. It looks just lovely! I'm so excited and can't wait until we can finally WALK on the grass and have a big party! Everything looks just lovely and Ralph did a wonderful job! He might have a little green thumb after all! I had a wonderful and busy time with many friends and family in Fresno. I sang at my home church, Truth Tabernacle, last Sunday night and I was so honored to be able to do so. I also ate Me-n-Eds (twice) and had Grandma's tortillas (who's counting...? ;-). I was able to spoil my little doggy that mean, ol' Ralphiepoo gave to Grandma and Grandpa and I visited with TONS of people! I had a great time, but I am SO happy to be home and back in my recliner. Tomorrow starts Summer classes for me, so I'm going to enjoy what I have left of my summer "vacation". Later, gator!

Dun-Da-Da-DA!

2008-05-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for Fresno today to spend some time with family and friends during vacation. But before I do that, I am going to a wedding. I love weddings! I even had a wedding planning business for a while - "Kiss of Bliss". It didn't really take off as I had hoped, so I went back to school and now have different dreams. I still LOVE weddings and being involved or just attending, as I will do today. This particular wedding has been a long time coming and I am so happy for the bride! In a perfect world... Well... It's not a perfect world. Anyway, I totally have had my outfit planned for WEEKS, then the weather had to go "koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs" on me! Now, I have no idea what to wear and the clock is ticking. So, I'll be in touch later!

Detention-Free

2008-05-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

I'm done with school! Yay!! For the next 11 days of my life, I am footloose and fancy-free! Woo-hoo! Then the Summer semester begins, which I do NOT want to talk about right now! Grrr... Anyway, I got through my Database class and the final project practically unscathed, which just really surprises me! I wish I had gotten at least one "A", but "B's" are good too. I plan to go to the commencement exercise tomorrow night to just sit and daydream about getting there myself in the not-so-distant future. It's just an "AS", but it'll be my very own degree, which I will promptly have blown up into poster size for the office! hehehe... The next few days will be very lazy, then I'll be off to Fresno for the rest of my "vacation" to visit friends and family. Hopefully, that will be fairly relaxing as well. Does anybody out there, either currently enrolled or graduated, have any schooling advice for me? I'm getting down to the wire and every single unit counts. I'll take all of the advice I can get! You know where to find me...

Picture Show

2008-05-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

Some random pictures I finally got from my camera to the computer. Good times with friends and family.

He Will Have To Do

2008-05-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

I guess I'll vote for him. Or I may just stay out of it. What a bummer. He was mildly amusing on SNL, trying to get that elusive and perhaps fictitious "youth" vote. Whatever.

She's HERE!!

2008-05-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

Ella Starr Clara made her grand entrance this past Thursday around 8 in the evening. She was 6 pounds and 19 inches long. She is beautiful and we are very happy for Cameron (Ralphie's brother) and his girlfriend! We are SO proud! I can't wait to spoil her ROTTEN.

"Swampishness" is to Blame!

2008-05-14T16:40:00.000-07:00

Oops! I guess it's been a little while since I blogged! I've been doing lots of things and had a lot on my mind, so that's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Last Friday, Logan and I went to Disneyland for a little mother-son bonding. It was great fun and they did the fireworks, which were awesome, as usual! Log and I had front-row seats! It also just so happened that my old school, T.T.C.S., was there on their Senior Trip, so I ran into a whole herd of them. Those were the good ol' days... Ahhhh... Anyway, I meant to post a Happy Mothers' Day post, but a Happy Belated Mothers' Day to all of my matronly readers! Hope it was as wonderful as mine! Ralph BBQ'd for me, his mom, and my mom. What a GUY! We all wanted something different, so it was a salmon, tri-tip, chicken kabob dinner with veggies and rice. It was DELISH! Thanks, babe! I got perfume and I feel like the Queen of Yucaipa when I wear it! Lovely! Fast-forward to today. I went to the Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist, at my doctor's suggestion regarding the growth in my ear. (how growth!) Turns out, it's a small tumor and I have to have it biopsied at my next appointment. I'm glad now that I didn't make Ralph try to "pop" it. It's a really weird thing, but I have faith that it's just a little cyst and they'll be able to remove it soon. I'll try to keep everyone updated on what they tell me! Good news, I am sure! Take care now...

Words Can't Describe How I Really Feel

2008-05-07T21:43:00.000-07:00

I could not have, before this past Monday when I first read the reports, pointed out Myanmar on a map to you. I'm so grateful to live in this great nation where we take our peace, prosperity, safety, and seeming lack of hugely devastating natural disasters. To put things in a little perspective, take for instance Hurricane Katrina. Its devastation wrought on the humanity of those mostly located in a very poor area of New Orleans, yet the final death toll rests at 965. The San Francisco quake of 1989 death toll rests at 63. Even the truly devastating Frisco quake of 1906 killed 667. Yes, while every last one of these lives were extremely valuable and still a devastation to say the least, we are quite blessed. The projected death toll in Myanmar for the cyclone that hit over the weekend is at 10,000 people. That's a lot of zeros when you put a face, name, family, and tragedy with each one. My heart goes out to these people who live in nations less fortunate than ours and my prayers are with the nation of Myanmar. May they find peace that passes all understanding.

Listen In!!

2008-05-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

So, you may or may not have noticed that I have some links on my page. One that should be fairly close to the top in most browsers is my link to Pandora radio. As most of you know, I'm INTO music! I really like it. All of it. Good music, bad music, funny music, sad music. Anyhoo, I thought I might advise you all to go ahead and give Pandora a whirl! You can create your very own station based on your favorite groups and/or songs! Then, as the songs play you can give it the "thumbs-up" or "thumbs-down" and further customize your station. The only downside? You have to be near your computer to hear it! For now... Watch out, though, the way technology is going, we'll be hearing it in our HEADS before long! *cue scary music*

Yesssss...

2008-05-05T17:04:00.000-07:00

I'm a Lamborghini Murcielago!

You're not subtle, but you don't want to be. Fast, loud, and dramatic, you want people to notice you, and then get out of the way. In a world full of sheep, you're a raging bull.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Happy 100th Blog to Me! =]

2008-05-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

It took me long enough, but I've finally reached the 100 mark! Yay! I felt compelled to do something really spectacular in honor of the occasion, but I couldn't come up with one single good idea. I just cannot think of anything creative. No creative juices flowing here. The only spectacular news coming out of McCorkle-town right now is the pending arrival of another baby. Boy or girl? Nobody knows. LOL! We are excited to have a little niece/nephew to spoil!! Should be any minute now and I'll have to try to put up some pictures as I get them taken. Sorry this 100th blog is so anti-climatic and I'll try to make up for it somehow in the next week or so.

Moms ROCK!

2008-05-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

I think I may manage a few MORE words than this even... LOL!!! Man! I talk TOO much! I know that's what Ralphie tells me anyway... Lil' stinker! hehehe! I love my boys and I'm excited about spending Mother's Day with my mom (I LOVE you, Mom!) and Ralph's mom "en mi casa" while Ralphie BBQ's salmon for us! Yum! Anyone out there have any interesting Mother's Day traditions? (Ours is to NOT go out to a restaurant.) Let me hear it!

I'm Weird? LOL!

2008-05-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

Your score on this personality test was 69%

Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural lead, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

Personality Quiz
Take More Quizzes

I found this quiz and had to post the results. Funny. Kind of...

Screwl, as Bro. Rush Says...

2008-05-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

This semester is almost over and I'm just thrilled about it! I'm NOT thrilled, however, that the Summer semester begins just 2 weeks after Spring ends, which means only 1 week down time! Waaahhhh!!! Big time bummer! I'm planning on going to good, ol' Fresno to visit a few dandies for a while, but I won't be able to stay as long as I originally planned. Oh well, best not to wear out my welcome, huh Bonnie? =D Love you! hehe... So, I've just got 1 research paper, 1 group project, 2 finals, a little extra credit thingy, and 2 more weeks of classes and I'm DONE. *phew* I've got a lot of work to do, so I don't know why I'm hanging around here! Because I appreciate my "fan base" so MUCH, I just want you all to feel as loved as I do!

On the church and music ministry aspect, I finished teaching a Jonathan Stockstill song tonight called "My God". Nice. Very nice. Can't wait to sing it Sunday! Watch out, Hope Center!!

My Life, In 6 Words...

2008-04-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by SheGazelle. My six word memoir is...

"I've been there and done that!" =D

I am tagging:
Von De Leigh at Music Eloquence,
Jana McVay at Notes of Joy, and
Kari Morgan at My Incredible Journey.

Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want
3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post
4. Tag at least 3 more blogs
5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

Migraine Mystery

2008-04-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

I went to see a neurologist yesterday who promptly put me on Topomax twice daily for the foreseeable future. Ugh! I do NOT want to have to take pills every day, let alone TWICE a day! Also, from what I can tell, they're making me a little light-headed, which is not good. There were only 3 choices of preventative migraine meds and the other 2 cause weight gain, so that left the one that I'm on. If it doesn't work well for the next little while, he's going to do an MRI at my next appointment. What a bunch of DRAMA! LOL I'm going to see my regular doctor today to discuss the neurologists findings and my recent ER visit. I'm a mess. My husband teases that this is what happens when people get OLD! He said he's going to buy me a pill organizer! :-( He's too much! That's it for now. I've got another doc to see! Toodles noodles!

Playing the Game

2008-04-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

I have a somewhat competitive nature. I'm told this competitive nature has a companion "nature" called jealousy. Apparently you can't have one without the other. Major bummer, huh? So, there is yet one more thing for me to work on!! I do enjoy a new challenge! I'm competitive in a quirky way though. I love being the person at the potluck whose dish is wiped clean. I love having a really good hair day. I rejoice when told I look younger than the 32 years I have. Or when Logan is complimented for having wonderful manners. Also, when someone mentions how wonderful and/or handsome my husband is. So, that is my "competitive side". I just FEEL like a winner sometimes! Not all the time! LOL Nobody else even knows it's a competition, and I'm only a winner in the arena of my own imagination. HAHA! Does that make me a complete PSYCHO?!? Ah, well, what to do, what to do...

"Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is." - Vince Lombardi